


RNM Fictober Challenge

by pastelwitchling



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alien alex, Dark Alex, Halloween, Halloween Challenge, M/M, Malex, Scary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:07:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23176666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelwitchling/pseuds/pastelwitchling
Summary: Alex gets infected by some magic in the alien spaceship piece that causes him to turn dark.This was part of a Fictober Halloween Writing Challenge that had happened in October of 2019.
Relationships: Michael Guerin & Alex Manes, Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 6
Kudos: 69





	1. Part One.

“How’d you find this guy anyway?” Michael asked, the wind from the window blowing his curls over his eyes. He looked to Alex in the passenger seat, hoping he would answer, but the airman continued looking through his files as if Michael hadn’t spoken at all. Michael supposed he should’ve expected the silence, but it stung nonetheless.

“Encryptions of my dad’s journals,” Kyle said. “We’ve been looking through them for weeks, and finally we got an entry on one _Harold Edwards_.”

“If he was in the Sherriff’s journals, don’t you think he’d be dead by now?” Michael poked his head through the seats, staring at Alex. The airman seemed adamant on ignoring him.

“I looked through my mom’s police database, and it says he’s here,” Kyle said, seemingly unaware or completely indifferent to the tension beside him. “But his records could’ve been forged, outdated, maybe he moved without telling anyone –”

“Maybe my father killed him,” Alex muttered. Michael didn’t think he’d meant anyone to hear him.

Kyle raised a brow. “Hm?”

“Nothing,” he said, closing the file with a sigh. “I just hope this isn’t another dead end. I’m getting sick of coming up with nothing.”

“That’s the award-winning codebreaker in you,” Kyle teased, and it hurt Michael. It hurt that he could so confidently joke with Alex without fearing that the airman will turn away from him. “The one used to getting what he wants.”

“You make me sound so spoiled,” Alex said, though the corner of his lips quirked upward. “Is that what you really think of me?”

“So now you care what I think of you?”

Alex didn’t answer. Instead, he crossed his arms, leaned back in his seat, and closed his eyes as he heaved a deep sigh.

“Alex, we’ll find something,” Kyle reassured him. “Until then, you and I get to spend more time working together. The doctor and the airman. In a bunker. Alone. Just you and me and hundreds upon _thousands_ of encrypted files –”

“Oh, please,” Alex laughed, hiding his face in his hands. “Please let something come out of this. Please let this guy exist. Please, God, _please_.”

Hearing Alex’s laugh after months of receiving nothing but his scowl was like a breath of fresh air in Michael’s compressed chest, but to know that it wasn’t for him, that it wasn’t _because_ of him, it felt as if he was suddenly trespassing on a private conversation.

“Here’s what I don’t get,” Kyle suddenly said, and looked at Michael in the rearview mirror. “Why are _you_ here?”

“This involves my family, why wouldn’t I be here?”

Kyle raised a brow, and Michael could tell he did not entirely believe him. “This is Project Shepherd business, and I don’t remember inviting you.”

“Project Shepherd,” Michael tilted his head. “You mean that thing Jesse Manes created to destroy me and everyone I love? You want to try to tell me I’m not a part of that?”

Kyle looked like he wanted to respond, but Alex merely said, “He’s protection,” and left it at that. Kyle seemed to know not to argue with him, and even Michael didn’t dare say anything.

They were silent the rest of the way, only able to speak when they finally pulled up at a small cabin miles outside of town. The grass had turned brown, there were weeds and thorns surrounding the home, naked tree branches curled against the boarded windows, and at the front of the property, there was a rectangular stone that had grass, thorns, dead flowers, and dead bugs along its sides.

“You sure this is right?” Michael asked, and Alex nodded.

“What does that say?” Kyle asked, and, using his jacket sleeve, he rubbed away the dirt that had gathered on the stone to reveal the words, _HAROLD EDWARDS 1912-1947_ , carved into the rock. Kyle stepped back. “What the hell?”

“Told you,” Michael shrugged. “He’s probably dead.”

Alex stared at the stone, his lips pursed, then he took a step towards the door. Michael grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “Hey, Private, do you not see the gravestone?”

“So?”

“ _So_? So this place is probably haunted!”

Alex stared. “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

“You,” he huffed. “You still wanna go in?”

Alex pulled his arm out of Michael’s grasp just as Kyle said, “I thought you wanted answers.”

“That’s not the only reason I’m here, Valenti.”

“Then enlighten me,” Kyle said. “What’re you here for?”

Michael looked to Alex, then the front door, and sighed. “Protection,” he said, and stepped ahead of Alex. “Just stay behind me.”

_The things I do for love._

The door, as oppose to the rest of the cabin which was made of wood, was a thin, rusted metal that echoed when Michael knocked on it. It was ice-cold, and sent a chill up Michael’s bones that didn’t go away easily.

“I’m getting heat signatures,” Alex said, his monitor out and directed at the door.

“Guess that rules out Guerin’s ghost theory,” Kyle said, then his eyes went over Michael’s shoulder and he frowned. “Hey, Alex, you okay?”

Michael looked over to see Alex’s jaw clenched, his hands on the monitor so tight that his knuckled were white. Still, he said, “Yeah, I – I’m fine.” He reached past Michael and knocked again.

When no one answered, Kyle stepped back. “Okay, Star Wars, you’re up.”

“Better,” Alex noted, and Michael glanced at the doctor irritably before he focused his power, and pushed the door wide open. It creaked loudly, revealing a hallway that was crowded with shadows. “Kyle, the flashlights are in my bag.”

“Right.” Kyle dug them out, and handed one each to Michael and Alex.

For the most part, the house seemed to be normal, save for the blinding darkness that had Michael nearly tripping over a small glass table against the wall, and Kyle nearly slipping on a puddle of water that was coming from who-knew-where. For a man with a prosthetic leg, however, Alex was doing a remarkably good job not stumbling over anything as they made their way through the small house.

“Let’s split up,” Alex said, pointing his flashlight at another hallway. “Cover more ground.”

Kyle raised a brow. “You don’t think the theater’s screaming at the kids in the horror movie for _splitting up_?”

It must’ve been some kind of inside joke that Michael wasn’t in on because Alex grinned, digging a nail deeper into Michael’s heart, and said, “If you see any skeletons, scream.”

Kyle smirked, and went down one hallway, his feet splashing in puddles all over the wood. Without a thought, Michael followed Alex down another hallway, the first door opening into a kitchen turned dark with boarded windows. Michael opened a microwave, and hundreds of cockroaches crawled out. Michael jumped back, hitting Alex.

“Sorry,” he said, and Alex raised a brow.

“You’re an alien with your own secret bunker, don’t tell me you’re scared of the dark.”

“I’m not scared of the dark,” Michael said, that familiar chill returning to his body. _Was there a draft blowing in here?_ he wondered before he quickly realized that with the windows nailed shut, there was no way _any_ wind was getting in. “But there’s scary, and then there’s just gross.”

Alex said nothing as he waved a flashlight over the rusted pots on the stove, the tea kettle that was beginning to grow mold, and the cup of tea left on the counter that was now infested with fruit flies.

“Alex, there’s no way anyone lives here,” he said.

“Come on,” Alex said, and barely made it two steps out the door when he suddenly stopped. Michael came to stand beside him, and his eyes widened. There, standing in the middle of the hallway, was Jesse Manes. He was glaring at Alex, and in his hand, there was a sledgehammer.

“No,” Alex breathed. “There’s no way. You can’t be here.”

Michael swallowed, slowly reaching to take Alex’s arm, to pull him behind him, to shield him from his father, but one of Jesse’s piercing blue eyes looked over to Michael so that Jesse had one eye on each of them.

Alex gasped, and stepped in front of Michael, holding the cowboy’s hand so painfully tight, as if to say, _“I won’t let him touch you._ _I_ can’t _let him touch you.”_

Suddenly, Jesse’s jaw opened wide enough that he could’ve fit his fist inside, and he screamed as if in agony. He ran at Alex and Michael, his weapon raised, and Michael wrapped an arm around Alex’s waist, pulling him tight against him before using his powers to throw them both into the kitchen and slam the door shut, hitting Jesse hard enough to knock him out.

The two stood there a moment in the silence, breathing heavily, their fingers digging into one another’s skin.

“Alex,” Michael panted, his eyes closed as he rested his forehead against the back of Alex’s head, inhaling his scent, reassuring himself that Alex was there, with him, safe and sound. “Alex.”

“That couldn’t have been real,” Alex whispered. “He’s not here, he can’t be here.”

“Alex, Alex, look at me, Alex –”

But Alex was already disentangling himself from Michael’s grasp. He swung the door open, his flashlight high above his head as if he meant to strike his father with it, but when they opened the door, there was no one there. Not even a dent where the door would’ve hit Jesse.

“What?” Michael breathed, and followed Alex out into the hall, looking around warily as the airman picked up his monitor where it had fallen. He searched the screen and frowned.

“There’s only one other heat signature here,” Alex said. “What we saw – that couldn’t have been my dad.”

“Alex –”

“No, Guerin, I’m not wrong,” he faced him, and it was the first time Alex had looked at him in months. “Before we came in, I felt… cold. The same way I felt when I was a kid, and I heard my dad come home. I can’t explain it, I just – I know that whatever’s happening here, it has to do with my dad.”

“Okay,” Michael tried, not wanting to scare Alex by telling him that he had felt strangely cold himself. “Okay, I believe you, Alex.” He shook his head. “It must have been a projection, right? Someone’s just trying to scare us. Hey, look at me. No one’s gonna hurt you while I’m here, okay? I’ll protect you.”

Alex exhaled shakily, seemed to realize that Michael had come close enough to touch him, and to Michael’s relief, did not move away. Michael slowly reached up to touch Alex’s jaw, the slight stubble on his otherwise soft skin. He brushed a gentle thumb across Alex’s lips, relief spreading through his chest when some of the tension seemed to deflate in the airman’s shoulders. Alex’s brows furrowed as if even _he_ couldn’t believe what he was letting Michael do, how close he was letting him stand, how much he was letting him touch.

Michael was so tempted to turn their flashlights off, to let them enjoy just a moment of darkness, to pull Alex in close and whisper reassurances against his lips. He wanted to run his fingers through Alex’s soft, chocolate locks, to kiss his temple and tell him that he would burn the world to the ground to protect him. Then –

“Alex!” Kyle’s voice came through the halls, and Alex gasped, stepping back from Michael as if he was a dangerous fire. Kyle found them soon enough, flashing his light in their faces. The blinding white seemed to be enough to snap Alex completely out of whatever he and Michael had just shared.

“There’s something wrong with this place,” Kyle said, having either not noticed the tension between his two companions, or chosen to ignore it. “You’re not gonna believe what I found clogging the bathroom. We have to get out of here.”

Alex checked the monitor, then down the shadowed hall. “There’s still one other person living here. We have to find out who that is.” He took a few steps, and stood. Without looking over his shoulder, he said, “And if you see anything that looks like my father, kill it.”

Kyle looked startled, but Michael could only think to follow closely along, eyes roaming every corner and shadow, _daring_ that projection to come out again, to try to hurt Alex. Michael didn’t care what it was, or what weapon it held, he would tear it to shreds.

They searched every room, each darker and more rat-infested than the last. Michael had nearly gagged when he saw worms and cockroaches nesting in a dead rat’s corpse in the corner of a closet. A time or two, Michael heard a low growl, something not entirely human but not entirely inhuman either, and he looked over his shoulder but there was no one there. Alex tensed while Kyle hardly reacted; Michael suspected that only he and the airman could hear it. He held an arm up to shield Alex who glanced at him but said nothing.

As they approached the last room at the end of the hall, an old voice croaked out of the already open door. “Who’s there?”

Michael hesitated, but Alex continued in with Kyle beside him. The room looked like an office; there were shelves along the peeling walls with books that were falling apart, covered in dust and cobwebs, the window in the back was boarded up, and behind a large, chipped, and dusty desk, there sat a shriveled old man in an armchair with its leather torn.

The man looked up slowly, one of his blue eyes glassy and pale. _A blind eye_ , Michael realized.

“Ah,” he suddenly said, a smile cracking against his wrinkled, hard face, like cracks in old clay. “Alex Manes. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a Manes in my presence, and such a young one, too.”

Alex frowned. “How do you know my name?”

“I know all the Maneses,” he said, his large hand trembling as he lifted it. Michael was horrified to see what looked like a large beetle crawl from his shirt collar and into the thick layers of skin in his neck, and disappear. “All of them. Come here, boy, let me see you properly.”

But Kyle and Michael both took one of Alex’s arms at once, keeping him beside them. “You’re such a Manes fan, you wanna explain that projection you have in your hallway?”

Kyle glanced at Michael with furrowed brows, but the old man only chuckled. Either that, or he was sobbing, Michael couldn’t tell.

“That is no projection,” he said, took a deep breath, and continued. “A monster under your bed, Manes, playing a trick on you.”

Michael stepped forward, blocking the old man’s view of Alex. “Really? Because I saw Jesse Manes, too, and he sure as hell isn’t the monster under my bed.”

The man looked irritably at Michael as if he was seeing through him. _He wants Alex_ , Michael realized. Kyle must’ve noticed the same thing because he moved beside Michael, completely guarding the airman.

“Er –” the old man swatted at something that was not there, and said, “these walls were always haunted by the Manes family. Monsters breed monsters. If you saw Jesse Manes, then he must’ve drawn your blood, too.”

“And yours?” Kyle said. “I know you worked on Project Shepherd with Jesse Manes and Jim Valenti. Did Jesse betray you in some way? Did he hurt you?”

“Hurt me, _bah_!” he glared, his blue eye turning black in an instant. “I was tortured, kept in a cage with others like me. I knew to fear and hate those men.”

Michael turned cold all over. _Tortured and caged_. This man was an alien. “But,” he shook his head. “How…?”

“The gravestone,” Alex said, and stepped past Michael and Kyle’s defenses. “It says you died in 1947.”

“The first alien crash,” Kyle said, his eyes widening with realization.

“You’re not Harold Edwards,” Alex said. “You’re just pretending to be.” The man broke out into a grin, as if he found the entire story very amusing, and Alex clenched his jaw. “What’d you do? Kill Edwards? Take his body? _What_?!”

The old man slapped his own cheeks as if trying to pull the meat suit off, and when he was unable to, he shook his head. “It did little to save me. I was afraid – I was – I was afraid. And,” his grin slowly turned so wide that the corners of his lips touched his ears, “he screamed so loudly. I – I wanted him to scream louder. It soothed me, you see.” And he pulled back his sleeve to reveal his forearm stripped of flesh, only the bones poking through, “I just wanted to be soothed. But then the damn thing got us caught.”

“Oh my God,” Kyle looked like he was going to be sick, and for once in his life, Michael agreed with him. Alex looked stone-cold as ever.

“Alex,” he tilted his head piteously. “Alex, come closer, I want to touch you.”

“Alex, let’s get out of here.”

“He won’t listen to you, brother,” the alien said to Michael, though his eyes were searching Alex’s face as if he could see into his soul. “You’ve done far too much damage already.”

“I’m _not_ your family,” Michael seethed. “Alex, _come on_.”

“That’s your fear, isn’t it?” the man said, leaning forward in his seat as if he hoped to reach Alex from there, the desk creaking beneath him. “Not your father, but becoming him. And you should be afraid. You two are no different.”

“Shut up!” Kyle snapped, pulling Alex back towards him. “Come on, Alex, he can’t help us.”

“Broken, inside and out,” the old man said, his voice morphing so that it sounded like two voices, one as deep as thunder, the other as high as lightening, were speaking at the same time. “The man you love hates you, the friends you trusted abandoned you, the brother you cherish,” he glanced at Kyle, “he’ll leave soon enough.”

Alex slammed his hands on the desk, his voice quiet as he said, “You think you can scare me, but you can’t. You murdered an innocent person, you _tortured_ him. You’re nothing but a psychopath.”

The alien stared a moment at Alex, his grin in place, and with a lightning speed he did not have before, he grabbed Alex’s wrist in an iron-like grip, pulled him close, and muttered something that Michael could not hear. Just as he moved to wrench Alex free, the old man let him go, and Alex stumbled back, his hand covering his wrist.

Alex’s eyes were wide as he stared at the old man, and before they knew it, Edwards had fallen back in his seat, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. Kyle hesitated, then stepped around the desk to check him.

He pulled back quickly with his jaw clenched. “He’s been dead a while,” he said and looked to Alex. He put a hand on his shoulder. _The brother you cherish_ , Michael remembered. He never thought Valenti would become someone Alex cherished. _But then_ , he realized, while Alex knew all there was to know about him, there was a lot of Alex’s past that Michael didn’t know. That he’d never asked to know.

“You okay, Manes?” Kyle asked, and never before had Michael heard the name said with such fondness, such care. _It’s because it’s Alex_ , he thought, and as much as he wanted to deny it, Kyle seemed to have a soft spot for the airman.

But Alex was still staring at the corpse. Michael had thought that Alex had been completely unaffected by the old man’s words, but he could see him now, running them through in his head, hearing them over and over. He was afraid, Michael thought. Afraid it was all true, that everyone would leave him.

Michael felt a sudden guilt consume him, as if he didn’t have the right to touch Alex. Kyle had the right, Kyle was allowed to. _The man you love hates you._ Alex didn’t actually believe that was true, did he?

“Alex –”

“He deserved to be in that cage,” Alex muttered, and Michael felt as if someone had stabbed his heart.

Alex suddenly turned and left the cabin, the two following him outside. They torched the place and watched it burn to the ground, not wanting anything left that Jesse could come back and use for his experiments. As the flames engulfed the wood and burned it all to ash, Michael couldn’t help but stare at Alex, at the bright orange and yellow reflected in his eyes, the moon above casting him in silver. He looked untouchable, like a reflection of moonlight in water that if disrupted would disappear, and never return the same. Maybe he had already changed. Michael wondered if it was him who had rippled the water and started the transformation.

“What did he tell you?” Kyle asked, breaking the silence as the last of the flames died away and the three were left staring at nothing but ash and rubble.

Alex was silent for a moment, then, “Nothing important,” and left it at that. The drive back was quiet, no one felt like making jokes or talking about what had happened or what should be done next. Michael was dropped off first, and he very nearly asked Alex to spend the night, but the airman had shut down, his gaze faced ahead, his hand on his wrist, deep in his thoughts where Michael knew it was pointless to try and follow.

He watched Kyle drive away, and though he knew Alex wouldn’t look back at him as they left, he felt the disappointment flood his chest regardless.

Kyle parked in front of the cabin, and sighed, “What’d the freak tell you? Really?”

“You heard him,” Alex said, though it felt as if someone else were saying the words, and he was watching from a distance. “Everyone will leave.” He shook his head, trying to regain his thoughts. _What’s happening to me?_ “He was just trying to psych me out.”

“Yeah, he was,” Kyle said, his voice steady, his eyes on Alex even more so. “You know I’m not going anywhere.”

And Alex wanted to believe him. He should’ve just said he did, but the look in Michael’s eyes still followed him, the words he’d said when he’d left Alex behind. He had been haunted by Alex’s family name; how could Alex blame him for leaving?

“Maybe you won’t have a choice,” he confessed in a whisper.

“I really mean that much to you?” Kyle asked hesitantly, as if he could never really have believed that Alex had ever forgiven him.

Alex felt some of the tension leave his shoulders, his voice softening to his own ears as he said, “You really do.”

Kyle looked like he wanted to say something, to reassure Alex in some way, but Alex was too clever, and too rational. He couldn’t take any more empty promises for the night, and couldn’t handle another second of Kyle’s concerned gaze. So he forced the best comforting smile he could.

“Like I said, the guy was a psychopath. Try not to think about him too much,” he said, and clapped Kyle on the back before opening his car door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” was all Kyle said, though the doubt was evident on his face. Alex raised his hand in farewell, and headed into his home without looking back at Kyle. He stood against his door until he heard Kyle’s car pull out of the driveway, and away from the cabin.

Then he went down to the bunker under his home where he had first discovered Jim’s hidden treasure. He had long since rebuilt the wall he had broken down, creating instead a loose panel that he could slide out, and he pulled out what felt like a thick piece of glass. He could still feel the old man’s tight grip on his wrist, his beady eye searching Alex’s face, his smile wide and taunting as he said, _“There’s a_ reason _we aren’t meant to touch things from another world, Alex.”_

Alex watched as his fingerprints left the glass glowing, symbols lighting up at the faintest touch. He felt a strong pulse beneath his skin and winced. Without letting go of the glass, he pulled back his sleeve and found that on a small patch of his skin, his veins had turned to a deep shade of purple, gold, pink, and orange – the same colors of the spaceship piece itself.


	2. Part Two.

_“Alex?” Alex looked up from his storybook. His dad, dark-haired and kind-eyed, looked down at his son from his bedroom door. “What’re you doing?”_

_“Reading about monsters,” Alex held up his book. He was too young for it, that’s what his brothers kept telling him. He was only nine, after all, and his brothers were so much older and braver than he was. At least, that was what they kept telling him, too. “Dad,” he leaned forward on his bed, “did you know that a siren could crash entire ships with her voice?”_

_“Entire ships,” Jesse exhaled, leaning against Alex’s doorframe with wide eyes._

_“Really, it’s true!” Alex said, excited to finally have someone want to listen to him. None of his brothers would, and his mother always treated him like a baby. Alex wanted someone who wouldn’t coo and aww at everything he said. “It’s written right here!”_

_Jesse came in and sat at the foot of Alex’s bed. “Well, I – can I see that? Thank you – I don’t know about sirens, but personally, I’ve always liked werewolves better. I think they’d just be nicer.”_

_Alex bounced excitedly. “They’re in there, too! And vampires, and all sorts of monsters!”_

_Jesse hummed, looking through the pages. “But, you know, the thing about monsters is that you never know where they’re really hiding. They could be anyone, anywhere.”_

_Alex considered this, then scowled. “Like Flint? He’s a monster.”_

_Jesse chuckled, ruffling his son’s hair, and Alex felt a warmth bloom in his chest at being able to make his father laugh. He so rarely did anymore._

_“No, I, uh, I’m not talking about your brother,” he said, handing the book back to Alex, and Alex was surprised to see that his expression had suddenly gone dark. “Just… I want you to know, Alex, that I’m never going to let any monsters near you. You won’t have to worry about them.”_

_Alex blinked. He didn’t know why his father had turned so serious all of a sudden, and he was enveloped in that strange, cold feeling he usually got when Jesse returned home late, too tired and too unwilling to talk about work, what he’d been doing, why he was coming back in the dead of night. Alex shouldn’t have known about that (it was always past his bedtime when his father came home), but he did. He felt he maybe shouldn’t worry so much, but he did._

_“I know, dad,” Alex said instead, not wanting to burden his father with his concerns. Whatever trouble there was, Alex was sure there was no one better to handle it than Jesse Manes, the greatest hero in Roswell. “I’ll protect you, too. We can protect each other.”_

_Jesse smiled softly, ruffling Alex’s hair. “That’s my little soldier.”_

Alex woke to a throbbing pain in his arm. Images of warplanes and missiles and blood and his father’s loving smile flashed in his mind as he panted.

He sat up in his chair, and yanked his sleeve up. He clenched his jaw. The coloring in his veins – the pink, violet, blue, orange, green, and gold of the spaceship piece – had stretched to his upper arm, webbing across his skin like a beautiful, poisonous stream.

He stood and went to pull some painkillers (he never left anywhere without them) from his bag when he saw Michael asleep on the table, his head pillowed on his arms, his cowboy hat beside him, and files on his kind over the years strewn around haphazardly.

Alex shook his head. “How disorganized,” he muttered, and barely managed to take a step towards him when his arm throbbed painfully again, and he winced. With trembling fingers, he pulled out a few pills and swallowed. They did little but make the pain bearable, and even that was working less and less every day.

His fingers tightened on the corners of the table as he waited for the throbbing to recede, his breaths heavy and shallow. Finally, he was able to stand straight, exhaling deeply as he did.

He all but fell in a chair next to Michael and leaned his elbow on the table, staring at the cowboy. He reached for him, lightly pushing the curls away from his eyes, his fingers tracing down Michael’s jaw, through his stubble. In his sleep, Michael turned into Alex’s touch, his lips just barely touching Alex’s hand, a low growl forming in his throat that Alex had never heard before as he chased the airman’s touch. Alex’s heart hammered in his chest, and it wasn’t long before darker images crowded his mind. Michael’s lips on Maria’s, his hands on her body, her hands on his. The throbbing returned, and Alex hastily pulled away.

He clutched his arm painfully, his nails digging into his skin, and he heard Michael stir awake behind him.

_Go away,_ he silently urged the pain. _Go away, go away, go away._

“What time is it?” Michael asked, his voice hoarse, and Alex had to breathe slowly to control the small electric shock in his chest.

“Two in the morning,” Alex said, taking his seat, his voice strained to his own ears.

Michael must’ve noticed it, too, because he asked, “You okay?”

Alex pulled his sleeve down. “Mm hm.”

“Morning,” Kyle suddenly said as he walked in. “Or, _night_ , or whatever.”

Michael groaned as his head fell back onto the table, and Alex scoffed.

“Did you just finish your shift?” Alex asked as Kyle handed him a bag of bagels and a cup of something hot.

“Whoa, your hands are freezing,” he said. “Is it that cold outside?”

Kyle smiled at him strangely, his brows furrowed.

Alex ignored the look, and took a sip of his cup, tasting coffee. He gasped softly. “I love you.”

He’d meant it as a joke, and Kyle certainly seemed to take it that way with his cheeky smile, but Michael turned to look at him, his face unreadable. Alex thought it was time to stop trying to decipher Michael’s looks.

“I knew you’d be hungry, Manes,” Kyle set another paper bag and cup of coffee in front of Michael. “Your internal clock is freaking weird.”

Kyle sat back in his chair, crossing his feet up on the table as he took a file and checked the contents. He seemed to be drinking something thick and red from his own cup that Alex didn’t think was coffee, though he didn’t ask.

“A lot of people get hungry in the middle of the night,” Alex said, sipping his own coffee and sighing contently as the warm liquid eased some of the pain in his body. Whatever alien magic he encountered, he doubted he would ever come across anything as magical as caffeine.

“Have you guys found anything?”

Alex’s smile fell as he turned back to his screen. “Yeah, my, uh, great grandfather apparently invented a kind of bullet-proof glass that would keep an alien’s power contained. The Manes legacy just gets better and better,” he muttered.

The room was silent for a moment, then Kyle said, “Well, that’s what you and I are here for, right? Fixing it.”

Alex was just starting to smile, but then his eyes caught Michael’s, and it suddenly felt wrong to be comforted. He looked away.

“I need some air,” he mumbled, hurrying to the door before Michael offered to come along.

Alex walked out of the bunker to find himself in his living room at the cabin, the sunlight peeking through the curtains. Alex froze, his eyes wide. He looked down; he was wearing an oversized sweater and sweatpants. He opened the door he’d just walked out of, and saw that it led to the porch outside his house. He could hear music coming from the kitchen.

Alex slowly followed it to find Isobel and Maria with their heads bent over the stove. They were swaying their hips lightly to the song – _Barry Manilow_ , Alex recognized it – whispering between each other.

“What the hell?” he said before he could catch himself, and the girls looked over their shoulders, smiling sweetly at him.

“Hey,” Maria said, her voice unusually soft, “did you have a good sleep?”

“Sleep?”

Isobel raised her brow. “Didn’t you say you wanted to sleep off all that extra pain medication you’ve been taking?”

Alex stepped back, his hand clutching his arm where his veins were throbbing, though it was little more than a painful stinging now. “You… you know about that?”

“I do,” Isobel said in a sing-song voice. “And you know I know. You know we’re telling the truth.”

Alex blinked. _Right_ , he thought. Of course. Michael had followed him outside the bunker last night, and Alex had hastily decided to go home and finish his work there, hoping it would discourage Michael and his unbuttoned shirt from coming with him. Michael seemed to get the hint. He had then told Alex that he would send Isobel in the morning to help him. Alex rubbed his eyes. How could he have forgotten?

“Y-Yeah,” he said, unable to meet their eyes. “Sure.”

“Poor baby,” Maria cooed, “you look so tired. Here, have some tomato soup.”

She poured him a bowl, and came to stand in front of him, holding the steaming meal. Alex’s brows furrowed, but he could sense no tension coming from Maria, no discomfort – as if nothing had changed between them, as if these past few months didn’t carry a cold distance that kept them separated.

“Did I… call you, too?”

Maria stared. “You did.”

“Are you sure?”

“You did.”

Alex searched her face. “Yeah. I’m sure I did,” he said quietly, not recognizing his own voice, only trying hazily to find the memory. He took the bowl, the smell hitting him first. He coughed and coughed, thrusting it back at her.

“That smells like acid!”

Maria huffed a soft chuckle, and stepped closer to him. Isobel seemed to be concerned with the pot on the stove, humming as she stirred. Alex wished she would stop; he couldn’t focus with so much music around him.

“You’re so silly, Alex. Here, have some soup.”

Alex’s fingers twitched, and he moved away. “I’m not drinking that.”

“Have some soup, Alex. It tastes really good.”

Alex hesitated, glancing up from the bowl at Maria’s kind face. If she was so calm, then maybe Alex was just being paranoid. “Really?”

She handed him the bowl. “Have some soup. You’ll love it.”

Alex felt himself nod slowly. “I’ll… love it.”

Her smile widened. “You’ll love it.”

Alex tried to take the bowl again, but he suddenly felt something scalding touch his fingers, and realized that, without his noticing, the soup had burned through the bowl and was lying in sizzling droplets on the floor. Maria was still smiling at him as if she didn’t notice it at all, and Alex felt fear suddenly course through his entire body. His heart was hammering, the pain in his arm throbbing, his fingers trembling.

Alex gasped, and stepped back. Maria tried to follow him. “Stay away from me!” and he ran out of the cabin, his steps slower and more heavily weighed down with his prosthetic than usual. When he finally made it to the door and threw it open, he stumbled right into a warm, hard chest.

“Whoa, Alex,” Michael said, his eyes full of concern, “Alex, stop, it’s me!”

“Guerin,” Alex breathed, and without thinking, wrapped his arms around Michael’s shoulders. “Help me, Guerin, I think – I think I’m losing my mind!”

“Hey, _hey_ ,” he ran his hands up and down Alex’s back. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here, you’re safe.”

“I…” Alex shook his head, looking over his shoulder at his front door. “I don’t know what I just saw, I don’t understand what happened!”

“Alex –”

“I’m seeing things, I have to be!”

“Stop, look at me,” Michael held his face in his hands. “Look at me. You’re not making any sense. _What happened_?”

Alex could feel Michael’s breath fan his lips, Michael’s warm fingers on his jaw, Michael’s thumbs softly stroking his cheeks, Michael’s eyes searching his own, trying to find a way to help him. And Alex stepped back. He had to concentrate. He was losing himself. Why was he so afraid? Was what he had just seen real? It couldn’t have been, it certainly didn’t _feel_ that way anymore now. Alex’s heart hammered, but his memories of the girls seemed blurry, as if Alex was seeing them through water.

“Inside,” he shook his head. “Inside.”

Michael glanced at the door. “Okay, Alex, don’t worry, I’ll check it out.”

“No, wait, don’t,” Alex warned, taking Michael’s arm with both hands. “I have to – I’ll come with you.”

Michael looked like he wanted to argue, but Alex wouldn’t let him go, and he seemed to realize that. He nodded, and Alex held onto him as they returned inside. All the way, Alex was wondering what Michael would do if he saw Maria standing in his kitchen. Would it just get awkward? Would Michael know that something was wrong with his ex-girlfriend? Would he believe Alex’s concerns?

They stepped further inside, and it was only when they reached the kitchen did Alex notice that the music that had been playing had stopped. There was no one in his cabin, Isobel and Maria were gone, the smell of acid along with them as if the girls hadn’t been cooking anything at all.

Alex searched the kitchen with furrowed brows as Michael went to check the rest of the cabin. Alex was just looking through his pots (none of them were touched or smelled as if they’d been rapidly cleaned) when Michael came back in.

“There’s no one here,” he said.

Alex shook his head, staring desperately out the window. The sun was already setting. _Had they escaped somehow?_ “I really am losing my mind,” he whispered.

Michael came to sit beside him against the counter, and sighed. “You’ve been working too hard, you haven’t really eaten or slept –”

“Slept,” he muttered. “Did I sleep?”

“Alex. Alex, _hey_ ,” Michael cupped his jaw, forcing their eyes to meet. “You’re _tired_. You need to rest.”

“Rest,” he said, vividly remembering Maria’s kind smile, and the ice in her eyes. She hadn’t hesitated when she’d handed Alex the bowl, her fingers hadn’t trembled as if she was afraid for him. She’d lied to his face, and she’d wanted him gone.

Alex groaned, his head in his hands. “Rest, yeah. I need to rest.” He felt Michael’s hand between his shoulder blades, stroking slowly as if to help calm him down.

Alex looked up, saw Michael’s eyes search his face with concern and something else Alex didn’t want to identify, and he moved to stand only for Michael to follow him and help him gracefully to his feet. Alex wished he could’ve said he didn’t need it, but his legs felt so _heavy_ for some reason.

“Thanks,” he said, and pulled away.

“You want me to stay with you?” he offered. “I can – I can stay with you.”

_Yes_ , he thought. _Please,_ please _, stay with me. Don’t ever leave my side again._

“I’ll be okay on my own,” he ended up saying instead, and really, what else _could_ he have said?

Friends didn’t hang onto each other like Alex wanted to hang on to Michael. Friends didn’t want to touch each other the way he wished Michael would keep touching him. And they weren’t that close of friends anyway.

Michael looked so crestfallen that it took everything for Alex not to pull him into his arms, kiss him senseless, and promise him that – more than anything – he wanted the cowboy to stay.

“Yeah,” Michael said with an upward quirk of his lips that fell almost instantly. “I should go. Full moon tonight, you know.”

Alex frowned. He most certainly did not know. Michael walked past him to the door, and as he moved further and further away, Alex felt that alarm suddenly rise again. His heart was racing, his hands trembling, his breaths coming out short and quick. He was terrified, and he didn’t know why.

Was he having another panic attack? _No_ , he thought, hand on his chest. He had gotten so good at recognizing those. But this _felt_ like a panic attack.

“Guerin,” he rushed into the hall to see that Michael had his hand on the knob. “Wait.”

“Wait?” Michael turned slightly to Alex, his hand on the knob tight as if it was the only thing keeping him from running back to the airman.

_This is a terrible idea_ , Alex thought as he slowly approached Michael. _A horrible, terrible idea._

But Alex slipped his hand into Michael’s, and his heart felt at ease, the pain in his arm a mere pinch now. _It’s Michael_ , he realized. _He takes the pain away somehow._

Michael’s eyes closed as Alex brought his other hand up to cup his jaw, his thumb gently caressing his cheek. He exhaled softly, planting an openmouthed kiss on Alex’s palm.

“Alex,” he breathed, and Alex couldn’t help but come closer, resting their foreheads together. _It’s the only thing that helps take the pain and fear away_ , he told himself. That was why he was doing this. That was why he needed to get so close.

Then Michael took Alex’s hand from his face, and dragged it down his own body. Alex inhaled sharply. His fingers stretched through Michael’s chest hair, Michael leaning in closer as Alex unbuttoned the rest of his shirt, running his hands around Michael’s waist.

“Yeah, touch me,” Michael already sounded out of breath. Alex couldn’t help but gasp as Michael’s hands went under his shirt, stretching up his back and dragging his nails through his skin. “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.”

Alex wanted to kiss him. The sky was rapidly turning dark, and Alex didn’t care. He wanted to forget about every horrible, scary thing, he wanted to sleep in Michael’s arms, leave a trail of kisses down his chest, feel Michael inside of him, hot and comforting and _there_. He wanted to have Michael in every possible way.

Then he felt something like sharp needles in his waist and he gasped, pulling back. His shirt was torn, blood seeping through the fabric. Michael’s hands were still held out for him, his nails turned to claws, covered in scarlet.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” Michael said, and as he asked, Alex saw that his eyes had turned an icy blue, his claws growing sharper until his hands stopped looking like hands, and more like a wolf’s paws. “Hey, it’s okay. Come here.”

The pain in Alex’s arm suddenly intensified, and he yanked his sleeve up to see that his veins were now glowing brightly. Michael seemed to hardly notice that Alex was hurt, and instead looked at him as if he’d been starving for weeks and Alex was his favorite meal.

“Alex,” he opened his arms, “come here.”

Alex shook his head, his heart jumping as his back hit the wall. “Guerin, stop. Please.”

“What’s wrong?” his brows furrowed as he caged Alex against the wall, his hands on his shoulders. His claws dug into Alex’s skin, and Alex winced.

“Guerin,” he whispered. “You’re hurting me.”

Michael frowned, finally noticing Alex’s blood on his hands. “I…” his eyes widened, and he looked out the window. “Full moon.”

“What’re you talking about?” Alex shook his head. “What’s happening to you?”

“I hurt you,” he breathed, then doubled over, screaming in absolute agony. His eyes were shut tight, the veins on his forehead bulging. As he screamed, his voice turned deeper and deeper until it was a wolf’s growl. Michael’s face and chest and hands lined with fur until it was no longer the cowboy he knew in front of him, but a full-fledged wolf.

Alex’s nails dug into the wall behind him. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think clearly. “Guerin?” he whispered, and the wolf’s eyes snapped to his, glaring.

The wolf growled low in his throat. He was at least as tall as Alex was, and twice his length. He suddenly leapt and Alex seized the only thing he could find – a lamp on his counter – and poured every bit of his strength into hitting the wolf over the head with it.

It only stumbled away, a trail of blood soaking its fur, its eyes tinted with the color so that it looked like it was crying blood. Alex felt so many emotions flooding his chest – guilt, grief, fear – and he dropped the lamp. If he couldn’t hurt Michael, he’d run. At least, he’d try.

His legs seemed to be weighed down by steel, unwilling to move, let alone escape. He fell down against his wall, watching Michael with shallow breaths as he prepared to lunge again. Alex heard a crash and held his arms up in defense, expecting to feel a wolf’s sharp teeth sinking into his skin. But there was nothing. He looked up to see Kyle suddenly in front of him, keeping Michael back.

“That’s enough, Guerin,” Kyle seethed. “You’ve done enough!”

“Kyle?”

The doctor hissed at Michael, and it was then that Alex saw his fangs. _Vampires?_ Alex shook his head. _Sirens? Werewolves?_

“No,” he covered his ears, not wanting to hear the growls or whimpers or hissing. Not wanting to see Michael attempt to take a bite out of Kyle, or Kyle take a drink from Michael’s veins. “This isn’t real. This isn’t happening.”

He shut his eyes tight, but the sounds echoed in his head.

“Alex!” Kyle screamed. “Alex, wake up!”

“Stop it,” Alex cried. “This isn’t real! This isn’t real!”

“Wake up, damn it! Wake up!”

Alex felt a warm hand on his back and gasped. He was in his chair in the bunker, in front of the large glass table, Kyle’s hands tight on his wrists, forcing them down. Alex panted, looking around.

“Can you hear me?” Kyle asked, then again, “ _Alex_ , can you hear me?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah. Yeah.”

Kyle searched his face and seemed to realize Alex was telling the truth. He slowly let go. “That must’ve been one hell of a nightmare.”

“Nightmare,” Alex repeated, rubbing his face. “Yeah.”

_It’s okay_ , he told himself. _You’re okay. It was just a bad dream. That’s all._

Still…

“You kept talking about vampires and werewolves,” Michael suddenly said from behind him, and Alex realized that the hand on his back was the cowboy’s. “This month must be getting to you.”

He smiled, though Alex could hear the concern in his voice. The same he’d heard in his nightmare, his hand on his back just as warm. And Alex saw it. Even in Michael’s loving, _beautiful_ face, Alex saw those piercing blue eyes, the ones he’d known from staring down the monster of his childhood. Alex felt Michael’s nails tearing his skin, drawing blood, looking at Alex as if he didn’t care that he’d hurt him.

_No_ , Alex thought. It was worse. It was as if Michael had _wanted_ to hurt him.

Alex’s arm throbbed painfully, and he flinched away from Michael’s touch. The dream had been wrong. Michael wasn’t a source of comfort. Michael only made the pain worse.

“Get away from me,” he muttered, drawing further away.

“What?” Michael stepped closer, and Alex winced.

“Don’t touch me!”

Alex wouldn’t dare look at Michael’s face, but after a moment of silence, he could hear Kyle say, “Guerin, maybe you should…” Then, “Guerin, come on, something’s wrong. Let me take care of it. Just go home.”

Several seconds later, Alex heard the front door open and close, and Kyle sat in a chair across from him. He sighed. “What’s going on, Alex? Was it the nightmare?”

Alex clutched his arm tighter. Kyle must’ve noticed because he tilted his head. “Are you in pain? Here, let me see.”

Hesitantly, Alex let Kyle gently pull his sleeve up. The pain was dimmer now that Michael was gone, but it still hurt.

Kyle’s face fell. “Oh my God. What did this?”

Alex shook his head. “I think it was the spaceship piece. The alien we saw last week, he – I think he started it. The colors, they’re the same, and every time I touch that glass, it gets worse.”

“I _knew_ he did something to you,” Kyle hissed, then searched Alex’s face. “And Guerin? Him being here makes it hurt more?” Alex nodded. “We have to tell someone.”

“We can’t,” Alex said. “Michael…” he took a deep breath, “Michael doesn’t know I have the piece.”

“What?”

“He’s trying to rebuild his spaceship,” Alex said quietly, though in the silence of the bunker, his words could’ve echoed off the walls. “If he gets it back, he’ll leave.”

Kyle leaned back in his seat, Alex’s hand still in his lap. “You love him that much?” Alex said nothing. “Alex, if we don’t get you help, who knows what’ll happen. This thing could end up killing you!”

“Would that be so bad?”

Kyle stared. “ _What_?”

Alex shook his head. “I’m so tired. I’ve been fighting for such a long time. Isn’t it time to stop?”

“Don’t talk like that,” Kyle said. “My God, don’t – don’t ever say anything like that again.” He stood. “Look, you don’t want to go to Guerin, we won’t go to Guerin. We’ll find someone else to help. What about Liz?”

“It’s the middle of the night,” Alex reasoned, though he was so lost in his own thoughts, he could hardly hear himself speak. How did things end up so badly? He’d gone from thinking he’d come back to a Roswell without Michael, then to hoping that he could actually be with the man he loved, and now, he could hardly stand the sight of him.

_It’s your own fault_ , he reminded himself. _If you hadn’t been such a coward, none of this would’ve happened._

Alex shut his eyes tight, blocking the noise out. He had no right to be upset, not after what he’d done. Not after what his _family_ had done. He was a Manes, whether he wanted to be or not. How could he blame Michael for seeing the same monster in him that he had always seen in himself?

“Alex!” Kyle yelled, and Alex looked up, startled to see that the table, the steel ground beneath it, and the steel walls all had giant cracks running through them like shattered glass.

Alex gasped and stood. “What the hell?”

He touched the crack on the table. It was a spiderweb of sharp, shining crystals, the glass digging into his skin and drawing blood, even as Kyle yanked his hand away, warning him to be careful.

Kyle shook his head, his eyes wide. “I… think that was you.”

Alex frowned. “I – no, I – I don’t have powers.”

And Kyle’s eyes fell to his arm, his colored veins which were visibly throbbing, and said, “Yeah, Manes. You do.”


	3. Part Three.

Alex had needed noise. Now that he was here in the Wild Pony, staring at his drink, he couldn’t remember why. Maybe it had been because he’d been alternating between his cabin and the bunker the past several weeks, and the silence had nearly driven him crazy. Maybe it was because he couldn’t hear the gunshots, the screaming, the bombs going off, and his own thoughts when he was surrounded by so much chatter and laughter and sports games. Maybe he’d just desperately needed to be somewhere familiar, somewhere that reminded him of better days, better moments.

What had he been thinking? The Wild Pony didn’t give him good memories, it brought an ache to his chest. It didn’t make him feel like he had friends, it reminded him that he’d created new distances.

Still, Alex had forced his way through the door, forced himself onto a seat, forced a smile when he asked Maria for a drink, forced himself to _keep_ it when she insisted it was on the house ( _Guilt_ , Alex thought, and warned himself not to think of it again), and forced himself to sit through it as Maria came by every so often, trying to make idle conversation.

_Please stop_ , he silently urged. _Please stop talking to me._

But what right did he have to make such a request out loud? What right did he have to tell Maria that he couldn’t face her, couldn’t smile genuinely at her, couldn’t listen to what she said without hearing, _Liar liar liar_ , echoing in his ears.

He got a painful jab to his chest, and winced, tightening his hold on his glass bottle. He didn’t need to run to the bathroom to check how much further the coloring in his veins had spread. He could feel it. The pain had stopped going away, even painkillers had stopped working.

“Alex,” Maria said, laying a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”

Alex wanted to snap at her not to touch him, but he refrained. He was angry, and uncomfortable, and miserable that he just couldn’t explain it. And he didn’t think he was close enough to Maria to try. Not anymore. So he merely clenched his jaw and shook his head, refusing to move his arm from her touch even as another shock of electricity went through his body.

“You’re not okay,” she answered, her hold on him tightening. “Alex, what’s wrong? I can sense your pain.”

_Why does that make a difference this time?_ he nearly said. _Why do you care? Why are you asking? Is it because it doesn’t affect you? Because what I feel doesn’t get in the way of what you want? Now it matters?_

No. Alex couldn’t think like that. He’d pushed Michael away. He hadn’t tried hard enough to keep him. Maria was beautiful, and smart, and funny. Why wouldn’t Michael have preferred her? What was Alex supposed to mean to him anyway?

Alex suddenly heard glass break and people screaming. He looked around. The windows had shattered, the walls were covered in cracks as if a thousand axes had been used to hack through them, and there were some people who were staring with horrified silence at the cuts along their arms or cheeks.

Alex barely had time to help a woman near him as Maria had rushed to help others before his arm and chest throbbed with an agonizing pang, and he nearly fell against the bar. He forced some shallow breaths through his teeth and rushed out, into his car.

When he had arrived at the hospital, he’d stumbled through the reception line, demanded to see “Doctor Valenti, _now_!” and Kyle had helped him into an examination room where he knew they would not be interrupted.

“Let me see,” Kyle said, and without waiting, knelt in front of Alex, pulled his sleeve up, then unbuttoned his shirt to find a stream of violet, gold, orange, and green spreading out across his skin. He stepped back, covering his mouth. “Alex, it’s getting worse.”

“I hurt people at the Wild Pony,” Alex whispered, shaking his head. “I hurt innocent people.”

“With those powers?” Kyle shook his head. “Why would you go to the Wild Pony?”

Alex didn’t answer for a moment. _Damn it_ , why _had_ he gone? “I thought it would be easier if I just forced myself to talk to her again. If I saw them together, then maybe I’d get some closure and move on.”

Kyle’s expression softened. “Alex.”

Alex shut his eyes tight. He grit out, “ _Stop_ sounding so sympathetic, I’m acting like a spoiled brat.” Before Kyle could argue, which Alex could see he was eager to do, the airman stood. “Forget about it, look, I’m thinking of going to see Mimi.”

“I don’t know, Alex, Maria’s _mom_? I don’t think it’s safe for you to be around Guerin _or_ DeLuca right now.”

“Mimi is not Maria,” Alex said. “And when Edwards grabbed my wrist, he repeated the same words Mimi had told me before, only I didn’t know what she meant then. ‘We aren’t meant to touch things from another world.’ I think if anyone would know what’s happening to me, and how to stop it, it would be Mimi.”

Kyle hesitated, but he took one more glance at Alex’s veins, and relented. “Fine, but you listen to me, Manes. If this problem doesn’t get better by tomorrow, we do what we should’ve done in the first place, and we tell Guerin. Promise me.”

“Kyle –”

“ _Promise me_ , Alex!”

Alex sighed. Kyle’s eyes searched his face, and as if they’d never had any kind of falling out, as if they’d never been apart, as if Kyle had never been a stranger at all, Alex could read him, could blatantly _see_ the raw fear in his eyes. It made him want to reach out to touch him, if only to be reassured that his friend was there, and that he wasn’t dealing with this alone. “I promise.”

The trip to see Mimi was a stressful one. Alex and Kyle had to make sure they were going at a time when Maria would definitely not be home, and Alex kept digging his fingers into the spaceship piece in his lap throughout the entire drive, imagining all the ways this meeting could go wrong.

Mimi could freak out at the sight of the spaceship, could freak out at the sight of Alex’s skin, and she could end up telling Maria everything. Alex thought of possibly damaging Mimi’s mind even more, and very nearly told Kyle to turn the car around. But he didn’t. This was important, and he was desperate.

“Alex,” Kyle muttered, and Alex realized that in the rush of his thoughts, the car windows began to crack around the edges. “You’re fixing that.”

Alex tried to huff a chuckle, but failed.

“You need to calm down.”

“I am calm.”

“Alex, I’ve seen you calm. You’re the walking embodiment of calm. And right now, you’re not calm.”

Alex closed his eyes, trying to his best to take deep breaths.

“It’s going to be okay.”

Alex clenched his jaw so hard he thought he could taste blood. He nodded without a word.

Once they’d parked in Mimi’s driveway, they sat in the car, hesitant.

“You sure you don’t want to just go to Guerin?” Kyle asked. “I already have a bad feeling about this.”

Alex said nothing as he stepped out of the car. They’d made it to the front door, and were just about to knock when it was swung open.

“I thought I heard you coming, Alex,” Mimi said, looking as frantic and upset as Alex remembered her whenever he’d show up at her door, beaten and bloody. “Come in, sweetheart, hurry. We have a lot to talk about.”

Alex and Kyle were taken into the kitchen where a pot of tea was already whistling on the stove. “Sit, sit. Alex, pull up your sleeve,” she said as she took the pot off the fire, and set three mugs on the table in front of them. “Let’s see what they’ve done to you.”

Kyle blinked. “You – you know?”

“Of course I do,” Mimi said. “I’ve been having strange dreams for days. I knew they had to mean something.”

“You had dreams about my arm?”

“I’ve seen you in pain,” Mimi said. “I’ve seen you holding your arm, like you’re doing now, trying to hide it. I figured you’d eventually come to me, though I have to admit, I expected you sooner. Now, let me see.”

Kyle gave Alex a nod of encouragement, and with a deep breath, Alex began unbuttoning his shirt. When Mimi saw the multi-colored veins clear through his skin, she gasped.

“Alex,” she breathed, her fingers hovering over Alex’s arm and chest. “Oh, Alex, Alex, _Alex_. You did it, didn’t you? You touched something from another world?”

Alex hesitated, then handed Mimi the blanketed spaceship piece. Mimi didn’t need to unfold it. Her fingers had barely touched it, and she snatched her hand back. “Put it away. Put it away, Alex, it’s not safe! How long have you had that?”

“A while.”

“Doesn’t it make the pain worse?”

Alex shook his head, looking down at the glass in his lap. “Everything makes the pain – _ah_!” He doubled over, clutching his chest, trying to breathe.

“It’s from outer space, Alex,” Mimi said, though she only rubbed his back soothingly as if he was suffering a stomachache. “It takes away your ability to breathe. That’s what the vast darkness does.”

“Why is this happening now?” Kyle said. “He’s had that spaceship piece for _months_. He’s been with Guerin longer than that!” Then he quickly covered his mouth, worried about what he’d accidentally given away.

“Don’t panic,” Mimi said, rubbing rougher circles into Alex’s back, and oddly enough, Alex found himself soothed when she was near. It still hurt, but it was a lot more bearable now. “I’ve always known all about Michael, and Max and Isobel. That kind of energy only comes from one place.”

“And you never said anything?” Kyle asked.

Mimi shrugged. “It was never my secret to tell. And they’re good kids, they never gave me reason to worry.” She smiled. “Even Michael.”

Alex couldn’t help but grin along, though the pain wiped it away instantly enough. “How do I make it stop?” He held Mimi’s wrist in a tight grip.

“Tell me what’s happened,” Mimi said, running a hand through Alex’s hair. It only occurred to Alex now that Mimi was trying to stay calm for him. It reassured him. Maybe this was something he could fix on his own. Maybe Guerin never had to know what was happening.

So he and Kyle told Mimi what had happened, and as they spoke, Alex held onto Mimi’s wrist. He thought briefly of Maria, how he wished she could be here to listen to him, to hold him, to tell him that, _“Pfft! This is nothing, Alex! We can fix this!”_

She’d be lying, and he’d know it, but he’d believe her anyway because she would so badly want it to be the truth.

Would Michael care as much? Would it matter to him at all? The thought sent a ripple of electricity through his chest, and the colored veins spread even further, stretching towards his neck.

Mimi watched him the entire time, digging circles into his back, then his shoulders, then his arms. Finally, after everything she’d heard, she said, “Thinking of him hurts you, doesn’t it?”

Alex didn’t need to be told who. He nodded.

“Alex,” she sat across from him, taking both his hands in hers and rubbing them. “Do you know the fundamental law of every living being in the entire galaxy?”

“Fundamental law?” Kyle blinked.

“Home,” Mimi said. “Everyone looks for their home, the place where they belong. That spaceship piece you have, that shattered glass, it’s a part of a long line of a suffering race. It lives and breathes, and it’s _pain_ , and pain looks for a home, too.”

“What does that mean?” Kyle said. “What’re you saying?”

Mimi searched Alex’s face. Alex remembered the times he’d thought Mimi was losing her mind whenever she’d spoken like this, of other worlds and realities. Could it be she’d been speaking sense, and no one had understood because _no one_ had known the secrets that she knew? What a lonely place to be, Alex thought.

“Alex carries pain with him, wherever he goes,” she said, then leaned forward, her hold on his hands tightening. “Caulfield. You went there, didn’t you? You nearly died there.”

Alex swallowed.

“Alex, what’s she talking about?”

_“They’re my family, Alex!”_

 _“Alright, maybe! But you are_ mine _!”_

_“No! Go! I don’t love you!”_

The pain intensified, and Alex gasped for breath. It was, apparently, all the answer Mimi had needed.

“ _That’s_ when all of this started,” she said. “The pain of that spaceship piece has taken residence in you since the second you touched it. Caulfield helped it settle in the darkest corners of your heart, and what Edwards did was pull it out.”

“So it was dormant until Edwards touched him?”

“Knowing Alex, it would’ve come out at some point. But Edwards used fear to make the process go faster. What he said, it scared you, didn’t it?”

Alex’s brows furrowed. _Everyone leaves._ He shook his head. “Why are you so sure it wouldn’t have stayed dormant?”

Mimi sighed, and kissed Alex’s fingers. “You’re a brave man, Alex. You always have been. But sometimes for you, being brave means keeping the pain hidden inside. Max and Isobel and Michael, they have their powers. That’s their outlet for their pain. But you’re a human, you can’t get rid of your monsters that way.”

Kyle looked to the airman. “Alex is repressed? That’s why all of this is happening? That’s why the spaceship is affecting him so much?”

“Exactly,” Mimi said. “Alex, you need to let go. You need to come to terms with what hurts you the most, and it’s not this pain in your arm or your chest. You know what I’m talking about.”

The ride back to Alex’s cabin was silent for the most part. Kyle had told him not to worry about his car that was still parked at the hospital, that he would get it back for him by tonight. Alex barely listened.

“She’s right, you know,” Kyle said as they turned a long, empty dirt road that led to the cabin. “You are repressed.”

“I’m not repressed.”

“Alex, you keep forgetting that I _know_ you. You’ve always been like this; nothing’s ever really bothered you, nothing’s gotten under your skin, nothing’s upset you.”

Alex shut his eyes, resting his head against the glass. Mimi had given them her word that what was said between them would _stay_ between them, though Alex couldn’t help but be concerned. What if Maria found out somehow? What if she read it on her mother’s face? What if she told Michael?

The pain shot through his body, and he could _feel_ the veins throbbing in his skin. He clenched his jaw.

“Of course I’ve been bothered,” he said, his voice strained to his own ears. “Of course I’ve been upset.”

“I know you have, but it’s like it’s some kind of secret you have to keep close to your chest!” Kyle said. “No wonder you’re suffocating!”

“Kyle –”

“Alex, just tell me! I know you hate this thing with Guerin and Maria, so just say it! It’ll help you feel better!”

“Fine,” he snapped. “I hate this thing with Guerin and Maria! Happy now?”

There was a brief moment of silence between them, then, “You don’t always have to be the hero, you know. You don’t always have to be the one that takes care of everyone else. It’s okay if you’re angry.”

But was it? Alex thought. He thought of his dad, the way he could so easily slip from kind and warm, to cool and calculating, to raging and monstrous, as if he couldn’t control that darkness within him. _One tiny misstep, and that’s all it would take. I would fall into the cracks._

He said nothing as Kyle parked the car in his driveway. He tried not to wince as he sat up straight, and just as he touched the car handle, he felt Kyle’s hand on his arm.

“Please, Alex,” he said. “Just this once, listen to me.”

Even in his state, Alex couldn’t deny the concern in Kyle’s voice, couldn’t stop his heart from beating painfully to his friend’s fear for him. He wanted to say something comforting, to reassure Kyle that he’d work on what Mimi had said, that the pain was already receding and he was feeling better, but before he could utter a single one of those lies, his eyes caught someone standing on his porch, and his face fell.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said, and Kyle followed his gaze with curious eyes. When he saw the stranger, his shoulders slumped.

“What’s Guerin doing here?”

Alex shook his head. “I have no idea.” He quickly thanked Kyle for the ride, made sure his jacket covered every inch of the infected skin, as well as the blanketed glass, and stepped out before the doctor could say anything else.

Alex looked over his shoulder as he approached Guerin. Kyle checked his watch, looked to Alex and Michael with transparent hesitance and apprehension, and finally drove off.

“Alex,” Michael said, glancing at Kyle’s car as it disappeared from view.

“Hm?” Alex made his way to his door, unwilling to give Michael a closer look at him. Would the cowboy even notice that Alex hadn’t slept in days? Would he notice the strain on his face, the way he was unable to help but hold onto his arm, the way his fingers trembled?

“I was – wait, hold on, I was waiting for you!”

“Why?”

“I need to talk to you.”

“About what?”

“I – _Alex_ , would you just wait a second?” he held the front door open, trying to come in, but Alex stood at the threshold. “Uh, I,” he shook his head. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine.”

“But I –”

“Guerin, did you want something?” Alex asked curtly. He knew he was being snappish, but he couldn’t help it. Being so close to Michael, desperately wanting to reach out for him, to cry against his shoulder, to beg him to stay with _him_ and never leave again – it was all too strong, and it made him feel so sick and hurt that he could only subtly lean against the door to stay standing.

Michael looked startled, and Alex felt guilt flood his chest at the hurt that briefly passed the cowboy’s expression.

“Alex,” his voice softened, and he stepped closer. “I – I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I haven’t seen you all week, and I…”

_I miss you_ , Alex heard, but he closed his eyes. He was imagining things. Michael would never say that, and even if he did, what did it matter now? Things were far too broken between them for a few sweet words to fix.

“Guerin,” Alex shook his head. What would he say? _I missed you so much. I love you. Everything’s horrible and I’m terrified, please don’t leave me._

“Hey,” Michael whispered, bringing his hand to hold Alex’s jaw. “What’s going on, Private?”

_“You’re repressed. No wonder you’re suffocating!”_

_Tell him_ , part of Alex urged. _Please tell him. Maybe he can fix things. Maybe he can help you breathe._

“I,” Alex started, and got a stabbing pain through his chest, as if someone had dragged a knife into his heart. He held onto the door with both hands, his head ducked.

“Alex,” Michael started, his eyes widening. “What the hell is that?”

Alex looked up to see that the poison in his veins had spread to his hand, covering more than half his palm. He couldn’t do this. Not now. Not with Michael.

“I’m fine,” Alex winced. “Please leave.”

“Alex –”

But Alex shut the door in Michael’s face before he could say anything else. He could hear Michael’s muffled calls for him, his voice coated with obvious alarm, but Alex was struggling more and more to hear him at all. He trudged his way to the bottom bunker, fell to the ground as his prosthetic missed a step on the ladder, and he took the spaceship piece he’d been hiding in his jacket, and threw it back into the wall. He stepped as far away from it as he could.

“ _Ah_!” he fell to his knees, trying to breathe, but it was getting harder. He felt the cracks forming along the walls before he saw them. He looked up and caught his reflection in the now cracked mirror. His brown eyes had turned to that same beautiful, abnormal color of his veins, and then everything turned black.

Kyle had come back to Alex’s cabin that night to return his car, and he found Michael pacing the porch.

“Guerin,” he called out. “What’re you doing?”

But it was as if Michael couldn’t hear him. As he neared, he heard the cowboy muttering, “Don’t break down the door, don’t break down the door, don’t break down the door…”

“Guerin – _hey_ , stop, what’re you doing?”

Michael stepped back, startled to see Kyle there. He looked from Alex’s front door to the doctor’s face, and relented. “Something’s wrong with Alex. He looked like he was in pain, and before I could ask, he shut the door in my face.”

“Believe it or not, not everyone’s in love with you, Guerin,” Kyle muttered, though he certainly didn’t feel in the mood to tease. Michael was the one person who Alex always listened to. If even the cowboy couldn’t get through to him…

He knocked on the door. “Alex? Alex, it’s me.” No answer. Kyle banged his fist. “Alex! Answer the door!” Still nothing. “That’s it.”

Without waiting for Guerin, Kyle slammed his shoulder against the door once, twice, and it banged open. Kyle stumbled into chaos, Michael at his heels.

“Oh my God,” Michael breathed.

The ground was littered with shattered glass, and shredded files, curtains, and couch cushions. The walls and tables were splintered, cracked, and hacked into, the kitchen was covered in explosions of various canned foods, and there was a puddle of deep-red _something_ leaving a trail to the backdoor of the house.

“It’s not possible,” Michael said. “I was here the entire time. I never even heard a crash.”

Kyle thought of the way Alex’s power had acted the first time in the bunker, the way it seemed to silently break around him, the way cracks just appeared in the walls as if they’d always been there.

_It was as if Alex’s pain was manifesting itself_ , Kyle thought. Silent, deadly, and harmful to Alex in a way that only became clear when it was too late to save him from it.

“Michael?” Liz’s voice sounded, and then the next thing Kyle knew, she, Max, and Maria were coming in. “I got your… text.”

They stopped at the sight of all the damage.

Maria hugged her arms. “The air… something horrible happened here.”

“I thought if anyone could help Alex, it was Liz,” Michael said, avoiding Kyle’s eyes. Kyle didn’t think Michael would ever admit that the closest person to Alex was him.

“Alex,” Liz said, her brows furrowing. “You’re saying _Alex_ lives here? What happened?” She looked around. “Alex!” she called. “Where is he?”

“Michael, what the hell did you do?” Max demanded.

Michael looked like he wanted to argue, but wasn’t sure whether or not he really _hadn’t_ done this.

“It was Alex,” Kyle said. “Something’s wrong.”

Michael glared. “ _What’s_ wrong? And if you knew this entire time, why didn’t you say anything?”

“Alex didn’t want me to,” Kyle said, glaring back. “He didn’t want you to know because he didn’t trust how you’d react. And who can blame him?”

Michael looked suddenly as if someone had slapped him. He started, but Max grabbed his arm. “Stop it, right now we have to find Alex. Kyle, do you have any idea where he might’ve gone?”

Kyle thought hard about it. “Alex always comes to me when he’s in pain. He hasn’t called me which means the pain must be bearable. He’s probably just scared he’ll accidentally hurt someone.”

“I knew something was bothering him,” Maria said quietly, looking around at all the damage. “I should’ve forced him to talk to me.”

_Think, Valenti,_ think _._ Kyle ran through every possible place where Alex might’ve gone. Somewhere secluded, somewhere dark, somewhere he could be haunted alone.

His eyes widened. Without a word or explanation to the others, he ran out into the night, into Alex’s car, and drove. He ignored the calls to his phone, focused only on finding Alex. He must’ve run every stoplight along the way, but he didn’t care. Kyle stopped outside a small forest, and made his way down a dirt road long forgotten to find trees hacked at and cut into, big branches recently tossed to the ground, and when he finally came upon the large wooden bridge, he froze.

There was Alex, knees pulled up to his chest, his face hidden. The water of the stream ran quietly beneath them, that and the ruffled leaves the only sound for miles.

“Alex,” Kyle spoke, his voice soft but in this peaceful silence it echoed.

Alex looked up, startled, and Kyle had to repress a gasp. Alex’s eyes had changed to that very glowing color of the spaceship piece, the veins having spread to one cheek and a hand. The hand which he was clutching was soaked in blood, running between his fingers and splashing the wood at his feet.

“Oh Alex.”

“Don’t,” Alex stood. “Don’t come near me.”

“I saw what happened to the cabin.”

“I don’t remember doing it,” Alex whispered. “I was in the bunker, and then I was in my living room, and I – I cut my hand on something, but I don’t know what.”

Kyle shook his head, willing the burn behind his eyes away. “Alex, it’s okay. It’s okay, we’ll fix it.”

“Kyle, _stop_! I mean it, I’ll – I can’t hurt you.”

“You’re not going to,” he said, still making his way towards the airman. He could see water droplets, as well as pebbles, branches, and even large rocks slowly start to rise on their own around Alex, as if they were trying to protect him.

“All of this,” he said, “it’s a defense mechanism. Everything that hurts you, the alien power’s trying to keep it safe. You have to let it go so that there’s nothing left for it to protect.”

Alex shook his head. “I don’t know – I tried. I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You’re Alex Manes, you’re not just part of a broken legacy. You are _not_ something to be fixed, Alex. It’s okay to be broken sometimes. So break.”

Alex hesitated, looking around him. Kyle had never seen his friend so afraid, and it tore at his heart.

“ _Break_ , Alex,” he whispered. “What Guerin and Maria did – I know you don’t want to face this, but you _have_ to – what they did, how did it make you feel?”

“Kyle, I don’t have any right to –”

“Forget about that! Forget about how you can and can’t hurt. Just tell me. How did you feel?”

Alex clenched his jaw, inhaling a shaky breath as his eyes glowed brighter. Then, “Betrayed.”

“Okay,” he swallowed. “Okay, keep going.”

“Hurt. Dismissed. _Pitied_ ,” Alex spat, his veins and eyes shining like bright stars in a pitch-black sky. Kyle had no idea whether or not this would work. For all he knew, it was only making things worse, adding fuel to the fire. But it _would_ help Alex finally breathe. If nothing else, it would do that, and for now, that was good enough.

Then a tear slid down Alex’s cheek, his anger turned more miserable, and the light dimmed just a little bit, enough for Kyle to feel hope blossom in his chest.

When Alex spoke again, his voice cracked. “Abandoned. Alone. Broken,” he whispered his last word, and the walls – the water, the pebbles, the branches and rocks – they all fell as Alex’s eyes turned back to brown, the color in his veins dimming. He sighed deeply, another tear silently falling. “They chose not to care. I thought they loved me, and I did everything I could. I tried so hard, but it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough for him.”

Kyle closed the distance between them, pulling Alex into his arms. After a moment, Alex slowly wrapped his arms around Kyle’s waist, though he didn’t cry. Alex rarely did for long. But Kyle could feel the airman rest his head against his shoulder, his breaths softer and slower. Kyle held on tighter. Alex was still Alex. It was reassuring to know.

The sun had risen by the time Kyle and Alex decided to return. Kyle had only sent Liz a _“Found him”_ text after patching up Alex’s hand, and ignored the frantic vibrations of his phone as he and the airman sat on the bridge, side by side.

“How’d you find me?” Alex had asked after a long time.

“This was your quiet place when we were kids,” he’d answered, and at Alex’s questioning look, he’d smirked. “My memories with you are my favorite, Alex. All the adventures we went on – best moments of my life. I remember everything.”

“Our adventures are a lot different now.”

Kyle had considered this, then, “It’s always been you and me, Alex. From where I stand, nothing’s changed.”

Alex had looked at him with slightly wide eyes, the beginnings of a smile curling the corners of his lips.

“What?”

He had shaken his head, and rested his chin on his folded arms. “Nothing.”

“You don’t have to do this now,” Kyle said softly as they parked in front of Alex’s cabin. Michael realized who had come, and was rushing out to meet them. “I can tell them you’re fine, Alex.”

Alex’s eyes were on Michael, his heart flooded with warmth and love for the cowboy, with fear and anger, and – now that he was willing to admit it – with disappointment that he had turned out no different than everyone else in Alex’s life who he’s had to shut himself against.

“No more running away,” he said.

Kyle nodded, and opened his car door. Alex felt heavy. He tried to move, but Kyle was at his side before he could even sit up properly. Alex tried to muster whatever strength he could, and was grateful to have been able to get out of the car with as little help as possible, but was even more grateful to have Kyle to lean against as they made their way to the cabin.

“Alex!” Michael held his face in his hands, looking him over for injuries and settling on the hand wrapped in a piece of Kyle’s torn shirt as Maria rushed to his side.

“Where’ve you been?”

Alex looked to each of them, and moved away from Michael’s touch. He locked eyes with Kyle, and Kyle, understanding, nodded once before he left the airman to deal with his friends alone.

Michael glanced at Kyle unsteadily. “Alex, where were you? What happened?”

Alex rubbed his wrist. “I was fixing something.”

“Here, let me see,” Michael said, and gently pulled up Alex’s sleeve. The colors in his veins had faded, but not disappeared. Michael let out a sharp breath as he ran his fingers over Alex’s arm. “ _Alex_.”

“Does it hurt?” Maria asked.

“Not anymore.”

“But it _did_ ,” he glared, “and you didn’t say anything?”

“I told Kyle,” Alex said, and Michael’s face paled, his grip on Alex’s arm tighter.

“Why not me?”

“Because I don’t trust you.” He looked to Maria. “I don’t trust either of you.”

Michael looked stricken. Maria only looked as if she’d expected this weeks ago.

“Alex –”

“No,” he said, taking a deep breath. It was time to deal with this. “Now I have to talk, and you have to listen. I’ve been trying to pretend that what happened doesn’t bother me. I tried to pretend like I could still talk to you, but the truth is,” he clenched his fists, “I can barely stand the sight of you. I know it’s unfair, and I don’t have any right to feel this way, but you broke my heart and just forced me to deal with it, like I didn’t even _mean_ anything to you. And maybe I didn’t mean that much.”

He looked to Michael. “Maybe I was just a distraction or a confusing moment,” then to Maria, “and maybe I was just some old high school friend that you just happened to still know.” He sighed. “But you were the only family I had, and now, because of what you did, I don’t even have that. And I have to find a way to be okay with that because you know what? I am _tired_ of having a family that hurts me. So I think it’s best that we just don’t talk anymore.”

“Alex,” Maria said, her voice calm but her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Look, you’ve had a long night, and –”

“And I’m thinking more clearly now than ever,” Alex said. “I don’t want to see either of you. I don’t want to be reminded that my feelings were dismissed by the woman I believed was my sister, or blamed by the man that I genuinely thought cared more about me than what my father did. I don’t want to be reminded of how _wrong_ I was about both of you.”

And without waiting for another word, Alex walked past them, taking Kyle’s outstretched hand, glad to have the doctor to take some of the weight off his leg. He could hear Maria sniffle behind him, and absolute silence from Michael, and he ignored them both, pushing past the pang in his chest that almost had him turning around and apologizing again.

“How do you feel, Manes?” Kyle said softly.

_Scared. Like I just lost a part of myself._ Alex took a deep breath, and released it as they made their way into the cabin. “Free.”

_“Alex. Look at me, Alex. Wake up, and look at me. LOOK AT ME!”_ Alex bolted up in his bed, his entire body in agony. He fell out, clutching his chest. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think.

_Help! HELP!_ he tried, but nothing came out.

“No one here but us, Alex,” a familiar voice said, and Alex looked up. In the mirror, there was his reflection, but that Alex had multi-colored veins across his entire face, all over his hands. His eyes were of the same color, and he grinned as Alex crawled. “And I’m all the help you’ll need.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m you!” he laughed. “But stronger. I’m a completely unfiltered and unrestrained Alex, not caught up in all the feelings and guilt that you are.” He shrugged. “Don’t worry. You’ll start to see things my way soon enough.”

Alex breathed shallowly through grit teeth. “You’re from the spaceship?”

“Meh,” he sighed. “Glowing glass, outer space, the vast darkness that binds your heart to the one surrounding this pitiful planet – take your pick!”

“No,” Alex shook his head. “No, this isn’t possible! I stopped you!”

Mirror Alex stood and tilted his head at Alex. “There’s no stopping the darkness, Alex. You should know by now that it _floods_ the Manes bloodline. Tell me; how _good_ did it feel to crush Michael’s heart? To hear Maria cry? How _satisfying_?”

“No,” Alex clenched his jaw. “I did what I had to.”

“You certainly did,” he laughed. “And now, I’ll be here to fight for you. To get you the family you _truly_ deserve.”

“What?” Alex panted, barely having enough strength to sit up. “What’re you going to do?”

Mirror Alex’s grin widened, and he crouched. He pressed a finger to the mirror, and Alex watched with horrified eyes as the surface rippled, as if it was made of nothing more than water. As he did, the veins on Alex’s own body brightened, the pain no longer bearable.

“I’m going to take over, Alex,” he said. “I’m going to fix everything.”


	4. Part Four.

“You look troubled, my dear.”

“Hm?” Mimi looked up. Her mother’s old friend, skin as white as snow and hair as grey as a storm cloud, frowned at her. “Oh, it’s nothing Aunt Margarite.”

“Mimi,” her mother, Lily, frowned, her hands around her mug of coffee. Her dark eyes still twinkled as brightly as Maria’s when she looked at her daughter. “You don’t think I can tell when you’re upset? Has someone bothered you?”

“It’s Maria,” her aunt Sophia shook her head. “Don’t bother yourself about it, baby, it’s this whole generation. All they do is sleep with one another and get drunk off their chairs, they don’t have time to spend with their parents.”

“Maria’s working,” Lily said with a rather stern look at her sister. “It’s not like she’s off lollygagging.”

“It’s not Maria,” Mimi said. “It’s Alex. I’m scared for him.”

“ _Dakota’s_ son?” Margarite’s eyes widened. “What on earth for? Has he been hurt?”

Mimi shook her head. “It’s the alien forces, the ones we feared. He got his hands on a spaceship, and I’m afraid it’s already started affecting him.”

Lily frowned. “No, that’s not possible. Alex is one of the saviors destined to save the alien race, he couldn’t be hurt by it.”

“Not by it alone,” Sophia said. “But that boy has always been on a very thin thread between light and darkness.”

“What about that Michael Guerin character? He certainly seems to be on a thread!”

“Guerin has a temper,” Lily waved her friend off, “but his heart is pure. Alex, on the other hand…. If the potential for evil inside of him _wins_ –”

“He _and_ the aliens he was destined to protect will suffer,” Mimi agreed. “And he keeps everything so close to his chest, the poor boy. All the pain, the misery, the anger – it could _devour_ him –”

“You told him to let it go, didn’t you?” Lily demanded.

“Of course I did!” Mimi said, her eyes burning with the thought of her Alex flinching with pain, his eyes shut tight as he tried to carry the weight of that heartache all by himself. “I just worry,” she whispered, “I worry that, after so many years of suffering, it may not be enough.”

Lily shook her head, her eyes filled with hate. “Damn that man. He should never have been allowed to be a father.”

“If you’re talking about Jesse,” Margarite started.

“Who else would I be talking about?” she snapped. “Look at his youngest son! Look at what he’s endured, and now, he is forced to endure again! I never liked him, I _told_ you I never liked him!”

“Mother,” Mimi sighed. “Can we focus please? What do I do about Alex?”

“Aren’t his friends helping him?”

Mimi hesitated. “He doesn’t speak to Maria anymore. They think I don’t notice, but I do. Nor does he speak to Michael.”

“Great,” Sophia groaned. “Wonderful. Maybe the one person who could’ve helped him, and he and Alex aren’t even _speaking_?”

“Too much has happened,” Mimi said with furrowed brows, her eyes shut. “I’m hazy on the details.”

“Well, what about you? That magic you inherited, what did you think it was for? Growing daisies?”

“My magic isn’t as powerful as yours was,” Mimi said.

“You may not be a witch, Mimi,” Margarite said. “You’ve inherited too much of your father’s human blood, _but_ you still have magic. So long as you have something to fight with, _fight_. Fight for your son.”

Mimi nodded, and swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I keep waiting for Alex to come to me. I’ll have to pay him a visit myself. I admit I’m a little scared. If I can’t save him –”

“You will,” her mother said, covering her hand on the table with her own. “You’ve got a coven on your side, Mimi, no matter how small.”

“You’re right,” she said. “You’re right.”

“Mom?” Maria stepped into the kitchen, her brows furrowed. When she saw her mother, she smiled hesitantly. “Um – who’re you talking to?”

Mimi looked around the table. Lily, Sophia, and Margarite looked at Maria with a fondness and longing for a life they no longer had. Mimi wondered if someday, she would carry that same look. “Your grandmother,” she said, “and some friends.”

Maria’s expression faltered, and Mimi’s heart jumped. Could it be her daughter could finally see what she could? Did Maria have the magic of their family?

“Oh,” Maria finally said, smiling. “Okay.” And she left, taking Mimi’s hopes with her.

She heard a sigh behind her. “What’d I tell you? It’s the generation,” Sophia said. “Blind to everything.”

Alex stood at the door to the bunker. The sun was high in the sky. Alex looked down at his hands; the violet, blue, gold, and orange in his veins bright and vibrant. He closed his eyes. He knew they were of the same color. He clenched his jaw, took a deep breath, and when he opened his eyes again, he saw that the coloring in his veins had vanished completely. He smiled.

Alex pushed the steel door open, and stepped inside. The place was cool, normally biting into Alex’s skin and chilling his bones, but this time, the airman hardly noticed.

He clicked a few buttons on his computer, and Michael’s mugshot shone on the screen. Alex felt a pang in his chest. He gasped, his hand over his heart.

“Whoa, soldier,” he huffed a chuckle. “He’s the enemy, remember? I’m trying to protect you from him.” Alex looked up at the curly-haired cowboy. He sighed, letting his hand fall limp to his side. The pain didn’t last longer than a second. It felt like a victory. “And I _will_ protect you.”

The bunker door opened, and Kyle stepped in. Alex remembered the way he would hurry to hide how he felt, destroy the evidence of any emotion he had, of any love he might’ve carried for Michael Guerin. Now, he felt nothing.

_No_ , Alex thought. _That’s wrong. I’m_ excited _._

“I’ve looked over all my dad’s journals, I can’t find anything I haven’t already…” Kyle’s words trailed off as he set his bag on the table, and looked up to see Michael’s face on the computer screen. “You – uh – you good?”

Alex raised a questioning brow at him.

“Come on, Alex,” Kyle said. “You don’t have to put up the act for me.”

And Alex felt anger surge through him. _Act?_ Was he meant to be devastated and falling apart because of someone who’d chosen one of his _best friends_ while he’d waited on a chair with his bad leg for hours in the cold? Was he meant to cry for the man who’d blamed him for his father’s mistakes?

It made his blood boil to have his brother now, of all people, question whether or not Alex could survive disposing of someone so toxic.

But he mustered the best comforting smile he could, a smile filled with the same guilt and pity and fear that had always haunted him, yet he knew deep down he had never deserved to feel.

“It’s tough,” he croaked. “Obviously, I-I’m devastated, but, you know, I have to keep working. I have to stop my family’s crimes.” He inhaled a shaky breath for dramatic effect. “No matter what.”

Kyle nodded. “Whatever you want, Manes. Just remember I’m here.”

Alex smiled appreciatively, then, when Kyle turned away, rolled his eyes.

He searched through the files, the locations where aliens had been spotted since the crash-landing, unidentified heat signatures that continued to come up years later, paths that led to Caulfield, as well as other places.

_Weak_ , Alex thought. What a pathetic race his turned out to be. They had powers of destruction, powers to turn the world on its back, and they just cowered away. None of them had had the anger Alex did, none of them the great potential for destruction.

Alex grinned. “You see, little soldier?” he muttered. “See how well we fit together?”

Alex’s mind and heart hammered, and he could _feel_ the old Alex fighting back. _It didn’t matter_ , he thought. It was only a matter of time until the airman saw things his way. Once he ripped off Michael Guerin’s head, once those who had turned their backs on him were pleading to be spared, then Alex would find the satisfaction he deserved. Alex would _know_ true power, and he’d be happy to have it. Alex would love his darker counterpart, and he would welcome it in with open arms.

“Only a matter of time,” he repeated.

“Hm?”

“Oh,” Alex looked over his shoulder at his friend. “I’m just reading some of this stuff out loud.”

“You find anything interesting?” Kyle asked.

Alex made a pensive face as he looked back at the screen. “I think so. Look at this coding here, it’s so familiar. I think it might be a poem, but… it’s hard to tell for sure until I can compare it to your dad’s journals.”

Kyle’s expression faltered. “You mean the poems he wrote when he was –”

“—losing his mind,” Alex finished, and saw his friend flinch. He backtracked. “I mean, slowly – because of the illness. Poor guy.”

“Yeah,” Kyle said with an unreadable look on his face. “Yeah. Here, let me look through his writings. Can you figure out which poem it is?”

“Yeah, let me just… what the hell?” Alex feigned surprise as the computer screen began glitching. He felt the heat and electricity running in his body surge through the keyboards and every bit of equipment.

“What’s going on?” Kyle tried touching a key, but it electrocuted him and he stepped back, holding his hand.

“I have no idea,” Alex pretended to click a few buttons, and through his fingers, the virus continued to eat away at everything, the glitching getting worse and worse. Only Michael’s mugshot was left on the screen before it, too, glitched and disappeared. The computers all turned black, the lights flickered, and then stayed off. Alex and Kyle were left standing in the dark.

“What the hell just happened?!” Kyle pulled his phone out, and turned the flashlight on.

Alex beat at the keyboard, but the computers stayed off. “I think something just wiped out our hard drive.”

“Wh – you can bring it back, right?”

“It’s a covert operation,” Alex said. “All the information we had was _all_ the information we had, Kyle. And now it’s gone.”

Kyle shook his head. “Do you – I mean, do you think it was your powers?”

“How?” Alex said. “I got rid of those.”

“Here, let me see your arm,” he said, leaning the phone against the table so that the light shone on them.

With a sigh, Alex unbuttoned his shirt. Kyle seemed momentarily taken back, and Alex remembered that he wasn’t usually the kind of person to strip so easily.

Still, Kyle searched his skin, and found no trace of any abnormal coloring.

“Like I said, I got rid of it. All that stuff that was eating away at me is dead.”

_Or it will be._

Kyle nodded, his thoughtful eyes searching Alex’s face. Finally, he sighed, pressing the bottom of his palms into his eyes.

“Well,” he finally said, “at least we still have the journals.”

Alex gave him a small smile. “At least.”

Kyle patted his friend’s shoulder and headed outside, the light flooding in through the open door. Once he was gone, Alex faced the black computer screen, his smile falling off his face.

“Let’s see how long you survive, cowboy,” he hissed, “when I’m not there to save you.”

Kyle didn’t think he’d come back to the Wild Pony so soon, but he needed a drink. He had made the resolve not to answer any of Maria’s questions about Alex. Alex wouldn’t have wanted him to.

It turns out it was something he had to worry very little about as his thoughts had been so entirely consumed by what had happened that it was only when Mimi touched a cold glass of water to his cheek that he realized he was being spoken to at all.

“Your mind’s running,” she said with the kind smile she always wore, though her eyes held something else that Kyle couldn’t read.

“Mimi,” he breathed.

“What’s going on, Kyle?” she asked. “Two women have already tried speaking to you, and you hardly noticed they were even there. What are you worried about?”

Kyle tried huffing a careless chuckle, though it sounded forced even to his own ears.

“Me? Come on, I’m never worried.”

“Kyle,” she said softly. “Whatever you tell me stays between us. I promise you that much.”

Kyle hesitated. He ought to have said no, ought to have assured her there was nothing wrong, but he remembered the way she’d held on to Alex when he was in pain, the way she’d cared for him. Kyle didn’t remember much of Alex’s mother, but he was sure that Mimi came pretty close.

“It’s Alex,” he finally said.

Mimi tensed. “Is he alright?”

“Yeah, he says he’s fine,” Kyle shook his head, “but I don’t know, something just feels _off_.”

“Off how?”

“I can’t explain it,” he said. “Today, all of our computers in the bunker were wiped clean. Everything we had on Michael Guerin, and Max and Isobel, it’s all gone, and… Alex didn’t really seem to care that much. He nearly burned his own house to the ground _yesterday_ , but when I checked his arms today, everything was normal. The danger’s just _gone_. Is that even possible?”

Mimi frowned, her brows furrowed as she stared at Kyle.

Kyle sighed, staring into his drink. “Like I said, I don’t know. I’m probably just worrying too much.”

“Alex’s history with Michael – it’s strained, isn’t it?”

Kyle frowned. “Are you saying Alex didn’t care because he doesn’t want to help Michael anymore? No, I can’t believe that. Alex wanted to stop Project Shepherd from the beginning because it was hurting the aliens. He wouldn’t abandon them just because he broke up with one.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” Mimi said. “You don’t think I know what Alex is like? I know what he’d risk, I know the sacrifices he’d make to protect the people he loved, and whether or not he ended things does not change the fact that he _does_ love Michael. Not caring about someone is not the same as hating them, Kyle.” She looked into the distance, her eyes darkening. “If Alex doesn’t care, then we have a problem.”

“What does that mean?” Kyle asked, and when she didn’t answer, he leaned in, his voice quieter. “ _Mimi_ , is Alex in danger?”

“I –” she started, but her words were cut short by the sound of a large crash.

“Damn!” a man in a cap, obviously drunk out of his mind, laughed hysterically as a woman cowered against a corner, shards of broken glass in her hair. “Did you see her fall? Like a rock!”

Some of his friends, it seemed, were trying to pull him back, but he kept fighting them. Kyle stood, ready to pin him to the ground, but Maria had already directed one of the men to toss him out the door.

When she was sure the woman on the floor was alright, and had dusted the glass shards off her (thankfully, they’d left no mark), she made her way towards the bar, huffing. “I should call Max, have him arrest Joel before he does anything he’ll regret tomorrow.”

Kyle raised a brow. “Does Joel ever really regret doing anything?”

“Fair enough,” Maria muttered, and disappeared into the backdoor as she dialed the sheriff’s number. She looked like she hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep all night.

“Get up,” Mimi suddenly said, throwing her scarf over her shoulders. “We have to go.”

“What?” Kyle hurried after her. “Go where?”

“To save Alex,” Mimi said. “Before he does something _he’ll_ regret.”

Alex had known exactly where he would go after destroying the files in the bunker. And he knew exactly where to look. He could feel the alien power of the spaceship consuming him, and he welcomed it. Power led to power, and it was as Mimi had once told him; _everything looks for its home._

That was where the voices echoing in his head were leading him. Home. Alex thought of that drunken idiot he’d seen only moments ago when he had first stopped by the Wild Pony, hoping to catch a glimpse of Maria through the window. To his satisfaction, she looked exhausted.

_Guilt-ridden_ , he thought with a grin. As she should be.

Of course, he’d been irritated with Joel who had failed to cause her the slightest bit of harm. The dimwit had had half a broken glass bottle in his hands, yet he’d been unable to do more than cause Alex’s ex-friend some inconvenience.

When he’d stepped out of the bar, Alex was waiting for him. He looked down at his bloodstained shirt, and turned his jacket collar up to hide it. Not that there was anyone around to see it in the desert.

He thought of the way his anger at Joel, anger at Maria, anger at _everyone_ had surged from him through Joel. How the pressure was too much to take, how Joel’s nose began to bleed, then his ears, then his eyes, and how his whole head had burst like a balloon.

Alex felt the urge to laugh, so he did. He had been so frustrated with the idiot, so frustrated with Kyle for talking to Mimi of all people, so frustrated with everything. And he’d let go so easily. It was such a relief.

He neared a bunch of caves, and let the power coursing through his veins guide him through one. He found the pods almost instantly, and his smile widened.

“There you are,” he cooed. He touched the surface of one ship, and sighed deeply at the way it rippled under his touch, reacting to his body. He chuckled. “Let’s see if you break as easily as I remember you do.”

“Alex?”

Alex whipped around. There Kyle was with a frown on his face, his eyes looking from the pods to the airman.

“What’re you doing?”

Alex blinked. “The pods, they radiate some heat signatures that I thought might match the ones in our files, or what’s left of them anyway. I told you I would look into that, didn’t I?”

Kyle’s frown deepened. “I don’t really –” he shook his head. “Look, I’ve been searching for you. I’m worried.”

“What’re you talking about?”

“There was a murder outside the Wild Pony,” Kyle stepped closer. “His head had just exploded. Max thinks it was an alien attack.”

Alex gasped softly, his eyes widening. He covered his mouth with his hand, subtly pulling his jacket collar further up. “ _Another_ alien?”

“Yeah, and when I couldn’t find you in the bunker or the cabin, I figured you already knew, and you’d gone to Guerin, but he said he hasn’t seen you since yesterday.”

“No,” he said. “Oh man, I – I had no idea. I don’t even really go near the Wild Pony anymore, I thought you’d know that.”

Kyle stared. “Alex, are you sure you’re okay?”

Alex scoffed and shrugged a shoulder. “Do I look like I’m glowing to you?”

“No, but you don’t have to be for something else to be wrong.”

He smiled tightly. “I’m fine, Kyle.”

“Alex, I’m just –”

“And, by the way, all of these checkups are getting kind of annoying. Michael and Maria weren’t really my life source. Believe it or not, I’ll learn how to live without them.”

“But you loved Guerin.”

“I don’t even know why,” he said with a clear edge in his voice. “He never deserved anything I’d done for him anyway! He could end up just like Joel tomorrow, with his head splattered against the pavement, and I wouldn’t bat an eye. Good riddance.”

There was a moment of silence when Alex returned his attention to the pods, his back turned to Kyle. Then –

“Alex,” his voice was barely below a whisper.

“ _What_?”

“I never told you the victim’s name.”

Alex froze. His hands fell limp to his side, and he stared at the cave ceiling. “Damn it.”

When he turned to face Kyle, the doctor was pointing a gun at him. “I knew something was wrong. I was right. You’re not Alex.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Put that away, Valenti, you and I both know you’re not good with it.”

“Who are you?”

He shrugged. “I’m Alex.”

“No, Alex is _good_. You murdered someone.”

Alex scoffed. “This is a treat, it really is. Kyle Valenti finds me out? Seriously? Well, then again, you _are_ the only one who’s ever been family to me.”

“I’m _Alex’s_ family,” Kyle seethed. “I’m not going to ask again. _Who are you_?”

“Oh, okay,” he huffed. “But only because you’re so sexy when you’re angry.” Alex took a deep breath, allowing every bit of anger and resentment inside him to surface. As he did, his veins changed color, spreading like a glittering spiderweb all over his body. His eyes, he knew, had changed to that same violet, blue, orange, green, and gold color.

Kyle’s gun nearly fell out of his hands. “No,” he whispered. “Alex killed you.”

“That’s the rule, isn’t it?” Alex grinned. “No body. No death.”

“I _saw_ him get rid of you! He _beat_ you!”

“Why would he want to do that?” Alex asked. “I’m the only one that gives him the freedom to breathe, to feel what he _wants_ to feel!” He scoffed. “ _‘Do this, Alex, do that, Alex!’_ No appreciation, no one cares how he feels or what he’s going through! Everyone just _needs_ him for something. _I_ actually love him. I’ll actually _protect_ him!” He huffed. “Even from you.”

Kyle felt like there were chains around his heart. Even now, with Alex possessed by _whatever_ he was possessed by, Kyle could still feel his pain. The airman really had been suffering for too long a time, but even so –

“He’d never choose you,” Kyle said, and Alien Alex seemed startled at the certainty of that statement. “He’d never choose darkness. He’s a hero.”

“Is he?” Alien Alex said. “Because according to _everyone_ else, he’s the villain. Nothing is enough, nothing is right, nothing is _good_ about him. What’s the good in being good if no matter what you do, you’re _always_ at the bottom of everyone’s list?” He sighed. “He’s _tired_ , Kyle. You know he’s tired. He deserves a family who loves him, doesn’t he?”

“ _I_ love him. Mimi loves him, and so does Liz and –”

“Who’re you kidding?” he barked a laugh. “ _No one_ loves him.” He shook his head at Kyle with a look of disgust. “And you? If you don’t understand that this will help him, then you’re no different.”

Before Kyle could understand what that meant, Alien Alex raised a hand at him, and he went flying into the cave wall, his breath knocked out of him. He struggled to sit up, his gun flying to the other end of the cave as he tried reaching for it.

He looked up at his friend with blurry vision.

“You know,” Alien Alex said, “I should thank you. Pretending to give a crap about any of those assholes was getting really difficult, _really_ quickly.” He started laughing. “Alex really hates them, especially Guerin. I mean, he _hates_ him.”

“You’re wrong,” Kyle breathed, though even that sent a crushing pain through his chest.

“Yeah?” he knelt in front of Kyle, hands rested on his knees. “How do you figure that?”

“Because when Alex loves,” Kyle tried, “he loves with _everything_ he has. That’s why he forgave me. Because he loves me. And I love him.” He reached out and grabbed Alex’s arm. “And I’m not the only one.”

Alien Alex’s brows furrowed, and just as he opened his mouth, Mimi walked in. She flicked a finger at Alex, and he went flying across the cave, hitting the wall _hard_.

“Get out of my son,” Mimi hissed.

“DeLuca,” Alex said with a bloody grin, though Kyle could see the fear that flashed in his expression. “Never thought I’d see _you_ again. I thought you would’ve gone crazy in some mental hospital by now. Tell me,” he slumped against the wall, “how _are_ the hallucinations coming along? Can you even recognize your own daughter anymore, or do you still see one of the Dream Girls? Because that’d be hilarious.”

Mimi pointed another finger at Alex, and Kyle didn’t miss the way he flinched. _He’s afraid of her_ , he realized. All of these years, Kyle could never imagine Mimi hurting so much as a ladybug. Now she towered over the bravest man Kyle had ever known. It was both relieving and heartbreaking at the same time.

“You’re not getting to me, you demented piece of space dust,” she said.

“Fine,” Alex grinned. “Then how about this; If I can’t have Alex, _no one_ will.”

Mimi’s eyes narrowed. “You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I? I’ve fought your coven once before, but this time I have leverage. You see, I love Alex too much to give him up now. So if you so much as _try_ to get me out, I’ll kill him from the inside, and we’ll die together. Poetic, isn’t it?”

Mimi glared at him with more hate than Kyle had ever thought it was possible for her to have.

“What’s it going to be, _witch_?” He scoffed. “My bad. I meant bitch.”

To Kyle’s, and evidently the alien’s, surprise, Mimi leaned forward, brought her hand gently behind Alex’s head, and pulled him in to kiss his forehead. “I love you, Alex,” she whispered. “And I promise we’ll save you.”

The alien frowned. Mimi tapped two fingers to Alex’s temples, and he suddenly closed his eyes, falling back against the wall.

Kyle stood, his eyes wide. “Did you just knock him out?”

“I only know a few spells,” Mimi muttered, wringing her hands together. “They’re small, but effective.”

“Spells, witches, aliens,” Kyle groaned, rubbing his face. “One of these days…”

“I don’t have nearly enough power to pull that alien out of him,” she said.

Kyle leaned down, brushing Alex’s bangs from his eyes. The coloring in his veins had yet to fade. He sighed. “Sorry, Alex, but we’re doing it my way now.” He pulled out his phone and began dialing.

“Who’re you calling?” Mimi asked.

With his eyes on Alex, Kyle braced for what he knew would be the longest night of his life. “Guerin. I’m calling Michael Guerin.”


	5. Part Five.

Michael ran his hand from Alex’s jaw to the back of his head, stretching his fingers through the airman’s soft hair. Michael’s eyes followed the thin streams of violet, blue, green, and gold tracing Alex’s skin, and his jaw clenched. He closed his eyes, and pressed their foreheads together.

After a moment, he pulled away. “What the hell were you thinking?” he growled at Kyle who had his arms crossed. He looked like he was expecting Michael to get angry. Little did he know that Michael had not even _started_. “Why didn’t you call me _sooner_?!”

“I tried. I _wanted_ to, Guerin,” Kyle said. “Alex didn’t.”

“I don’t care what he wanted!” Michael snapped. “He _needed_ me, Valenti!”

“You don’t think I know that?”

“Boys, please,” Mimi stepped in between them. “We have to think about Alex right now.”

Michael knelt beside Alex, brushing his hair back from his face. His eyes were closed, his wrists and ankles chained to a chair. It broke Michael’s heart to see him this way, as if he was a criminal. When Kyle had called, Michael had known it would be about Alex.

When Kyle had explained what had happened, that Alex had had the spaceship piece this entire time and that it had done something to him, Michael had needed to lean against his counter. He could only think of Alex as a fighter, always one step ahead, always eager to reassure others that he didn’t need any help. To know that he’d been suffering without Michael there to hold him…

“You knocked him out?” he croaked out.

“If we hadn’t, he would’ve killed someone else,” Mimi said.

Michael snapped his gaze to her. “Alex didn’t kill anyone. This _thing_ inside him did.”

Mimi’s eyes softened. “I know that. But do you think Alex will look at it that way?”

Michael said nothing, though he kept brushing Alex’s hair back with his fingers.

“So we can save him?” Kyle asked.

“What’re you talking about? Of course we’re going to save him.”

“ _How_? Mimi said her magic wasn’t strong enough to separate Alex and the spaceship.”

Michael stood. “I don’t know anything about magic and witches and whatever, and honestly, I don’t give a damn, I just want Alex to be _Alex_ again.”

“How sweet,” a weary voice drawled, and Michael felt an ache in his chest. The same ache he had whenever the man he loved was near him. “What’s the matter, cowboy? Am I not useful enough like this?”

Michael narrowed his eyes. “You. I know those colors.”

“Or is it that I’m just not as easy to guilt and push around?” Alien Alex tilted his head. He still seemed tired at being knocked out, though as his abnormally-colored eyes searched the small group, Michael felt a chill spread throughout his entire body.

Michael clenched his jaw. “You’re not Alex.”

“And you’re cuter on camera,” Alien Alex said, clearly unamused. “Well done, Kyle, on bringing _him_ here, really. Exactly what Alex would’ve wanted.”

“Alex would want you out and dead,” Kyle said. “I brought the only person who can do that.”

“Yeah?” Alien Alex scoffed. “Then go ahead, Guerin, by all means! Kill me.” When Michael didn’t move, Alex’s eyes widened innocently. “What’s this? You can’t do it? Oh _no_! Oh, whyever not?”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Michael seethed. “You know none of us would hurt Alex –”

“Well, actually –”

“—but that doesn’t mean we can’t hurt you.”

“Actually,” Alex grinned, and while it was the face that Michael knew, this expression was empty. “That’s exactly what that means.” Alex may have been chained, but he leaned back in his chair as if he had chosen to be there. “You see, I’m part of Alex’s blood, his _heart_. You so much as poke me, and he’ll feel it.”

“So,” Alex’s grin widened. “Plan B?”

Michael shook his head. “This can’t be happening.”

“And yet,” Alex shrugged. “Here we are.”

Michael put both hands on the back of Alex’s chair, caging him in. Alien Alex raised his chin defiantly.

“Yes, Curly?”

“Don’t get comfortable,” Michael said quietly. “I’m _going_ to save Alex, and I’m taking you back to whatever intergalactic hole you escaped from.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed. “You say that like I’m hurting Alex or something. I’m the only one who protects him.”

“You’re just a virus,” Michael said. “You’ll kill Alex if it means you get what you want with him.”

“What I _want_ is to see Alex happy.” His brows furrowed. “Am I supposed to be condemned for not being overjoyed with him settling for the lesser of two evils? Am _I_ the bad guy now for letting him speak his mind and do what he wants? Or is it only okay if _you_ control him?”

“I don’t tell Alex what to do –”

“You don’t have to!” he snapped, all trace of humor vanished, leaving a raw, _raging_ monster beneath. “You just have to look away. And when you did, he blamed himself, and _don’t_ pretend that was never what you were hoping for.”

Michael frowned. It wasn’t Alex that was saying these words, he _knew_ it wasn’t, but it was Alex’s face, and Alex’s eyes, and Alex’s angry voice.

“Hey,” Kyle said. “Don’t let him get inside your head. He’s not Alex, remember?” He glared at Alien Alex. “Alex would never have killed.”

“Right,” Alex said with a humorless smirk. “Because all those years he was away at war, he was just knitting. By the way,” he caught Michael’s eyes, “that’s your fault, too.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Kyle said, his fierce eyes on Alex, and Michael realized with a pang in his chest that Kyle had been with Alex much longer, had probably sensed right away that Alex had been different, and had stood up to whatever _this_ creature was long before Michael had had the chance.

Michael had asked Kyle why he hadn’t called him sooner. Had he been jealous that Kyle had been here for Alex when he wasn’t? He remembered the way Kyle had reached out for Alex after the airman had told Michael and Maria that he didn’t want to see them again, as if sure that Alex had needed him. And Alex had.

“Look at that,” Alien Alex pouted. “Michael’s jealous.”

“Enough!” Mimi said, and at her words, Alex flinched.

“Don’t forget,” he said. “I can still kill Alex from the inside.”

“Not with the pollen,” Michael said, feeling a small sense of satisfaction at seeing Alien Alex’s face fall. “The chains are covered with the stuff. You’re powerless, _asshole_.”

Alex smirked, though Michael saw a tick in his jaw. “Great. So you have me locked up, cowboy. What do you wanna do now?”

“I have a few questions I want answered,” Kyle kneeled in front of him. “The computer glitches, the virus that wiped everything out – was it you? Did you erase the Project Shepherd files on purpose?”

Alien Alex kept his gaze on Michael. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I _hate_ it,” he said. “I hate Project Shepherd, I hate being reminded that I was punished for my family’s crimes, I hate helping someone who doesn’t deserve it. I hate _him_.”

Michael’s fingers twitched. Kyle pressed on. “Is that why you were around the pods?”

And Alex smiled, amused. “I wanted to shatter them to pieces.”

Michael shook his head. “All this to torture me.”

“Stop flattering yourself, Guerin. It’s not _just_ to torture you. I’m doing this for me.”

“Stop talking like you’re Alex, you’re _not_ Alex!”

“What the hell do _you_ know about Alex?!” he snapped, and Michael fell silent. “Do you have any idea what it feels like to spend years – that’s _years_ , Michael – at war? To hear screams and see blood, and know that it’s because of you? Do you know what it feels like to be watched like a hawk, every minute of every damn day by someone who should love you, but doesn’t?”

Alex huffed. “And then there’s you. Only guy I’ve ever really loved… and you were no different than everybody else in my life that labeled me as the monster’s son, and never bothered looking back.” He shook his head. “No. Wait. You’re worse. Because you never even gave me a warning, never told me that you didn’t want me, you just _stopped_.

“You want me to pretend I’m not Alex just so you can feel better about yourself? Go ahead! Hate me!” And through the words, Michael could see the beginnings of a grin. “And show Alex I was right. He has _nothing_.”

Michael surged forward and took Alex’s face in his hands, his grip hard enough to hurt.

“That’s it, cowboy,” Alex pushed. “Go ahead, show Alex how you really feel. He hates you for what you did, and he’ll always hate you. _Always_ –”

Michael silenced Alien Alex by pressing his lips to the airman’s, hard. Alex gasped, and tried shaking out of his hold, but Michael just held on tighter.

“G-Guerin…” he heard Kyle behind him, and Mimi said something too quiet for him to hear at all, but Michael kept his grip on Alex. All he could think of was Alex. _His_ Alex. His Alex’s voice, his Alex’s eyes, his Alex’s laugh. If he held on tight enough, Alex would come back. He would have to, otherwise Michael would be lost.

When he finally pulled away to breathe, Alex spat in his face.

“You DICK, let go of me, LET GO OF ME NOW!”

“Guerin,” Kyle’s eyes were wide. “What did you…”

But Michael wiped off the saliva on his face, rubbing it into his fingers, and Kyle’s words fell away.

“You were trying to get spit on,” Mimi said. “You clever little alien.”

“No one _tries_ to get spit on,” Michael said. “I just wanted a hair, but this’ll work, too. If Alex’s DNA is what activated this freak show, then it can separate them.”

“How though?” Kyle asked.

“Magic,” Mimi said slowly. “There’s a chance that the alien energy hasn’t touched Alex’s heart yet. If that’s the case, then there could be a spell to evaporate it from Alex’s system completely.”

Kyle frowned. “I thought you said your magic alone wasn’t strong enough.”

“I’ll help,” Michael said. “She can draw on my strength, and our combined power should be enough.”

“It’ll take a substantial amount of energy,” Mimi warned. “Your powers may never be the same again. Are you sure you’re willing to take that risk?”

Alien Alex glared at Michael as if he could not imagine anyone he loathed more. Michael tried very hard to remind himself that this Alex was not _his_ Alex, but it did little to lessen the pain in his chest.

“It’s Alex,” Michael said, his eyes searching the alien’s, looking for any trace of the man he loved. “I’ll do anything.”

“Remember what Mimi said,” Kyle said as he pushed Alex’s coffee table back, revealing the entrance to his father’s secret bunker below. “If we’re going to separate the alien’s energy from Alex’s, we need to use the exact piece of the spaceship that caused all of this.”

“Yeah, I got it, Valenti,” Michael said.

Kyle tried not to roll his eyes. “Watch your step here.”

“How’d you even know about this place?”

“Alex and I found out about it together,” Kyle said as he made his way down the ladder, his muscles still aching from being thrown into the cave wall. “I was freaking out about my dad, and Alex just wanted me to feel better.”

“You guys have gotten pretty close, huh?”

Kyle sighed, finally reaching the ground. “Don’t start, okay? We have bigger things to worry about right now.”

“I’m not worried,” Michael said. “I’m just making an observation, Valenti.”

“Observation,” he muttered. “Come on, the piece has to be somewhere around here.”

Michael narrowed his eyes as he looked around. After a few moments, he pointed at the wall behind a lamp, and said, “There. I feel something.”

Without questioning him, Kyle hurried over and tapped the wood. “It’s a panel,” he said, and Michael pulled him back. He used his powers to move the wall aside, and there, glittering in its little cave, was a spaceship piece.

“Careful,” Michael said as Kyle reached for it. “We don’t know what it can do to humans.”

“Good point,” Kyle said, and Michael carefully took it. He expected that it would perhaps sting him, or burn at his touch, but the surface of the glass only rippled.

“You think Alex’s DNA is getting to it?” Kyle said.

“Guess we’ll find out.” Michael’s grip on the glass tightened. “He did this to keep me here,” he found himself saying, and Kyle frowned. “I should be angry, shouldn’t I? I should hate him.”

“But you don’t?” Kyle said. “Everything he did, Guerin, he did for you.”

Michael swallowed, his eyes burning. All this time, he had thought Alex didn’t love him, didn’t care about him. And all this time…

“He didn’t want me to leave.” He sniffed. “We have to save him. If we don’t –”

“Hey, _stop_ , we will,” Kyle said. “Alex wouldn’t give up on us, and we’re not giving up on him.”

Michael nodded. “No matter what.”

“Getting antsy?” Alex smirked.

Mimi couldn’t hate him, _any_ version of him. As frightening as this creature was, it still wore Alex’s face. Her _son’s_ face. It still had his smile and his eyes, despite the sparkle and joy having vanished from both.

Alex groaned. “ _Enough_ with the concerned mommy look! Alex is fine, he’s happy! Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I want Alex to be free, not imprisoned to a _spaceship_.”

“You want to talk imprisoned?” Alex scoffed. “His whole life before this moment was a prison. _Now_ , he’s free.”

Mimi considered him. “You know, can boast and laugh all you want, but you turned Alex into the one thing he never wanted to be, and you’ll pay for it.”

“Oh?” he rolled his eyes. “And what’s that?”

Mimi leaned in. “A victim.” Alex’s face fell. “You think he’s fought his entire life to keep others happy? No. All the smiles, all the hidden tears, all the quiet objections – it was because Alex never wanted pity, _never_ wanted guilt. He wanted love at its purest and truest. What he strived for from others was good and beautiful, and what _you_ want is to be owed.”

“So what?” Alex said coldly. “Suffer in silence, is that what you’re saying?”

Mimi straightened, glaring down at the alien. “Alex isn’t you. He doesn’t need an audience, he needs someone to talk to, and he’s always had that. It’s never been much, but it’s always been more than what most people have. And Alex is _grateful_ for that. You claim nothing is enough for Michael Guerin, nothing is enough to prove Alex’s love.”

“It’s not,” Alex growled.

“Then you’re no different.” Alex’s eye twitched. “The beauty of Michael and Alex’s love is that they bring a balance to each other. Yes, Michael may be angry and loud and he lashes out, but just as Alex’s quiet nature calms Michael’s own wild heart, Michael turns Alex’s world to fire.”

“And fire burns –”

“It also brings light and forces action. _You_ disrupted that balance. And for that, you’ll be punished.”

“And I suppose you’ll be the one to punish me?”

“Oh no,” Mimi said. “Alex will.”

Alien Alex looked like he wanted to argue, to say that it wasn’t true, that Alex would never want to be apart from him, but just as he opened his mouth, Michael and Kyle walked in, the spaceship glimmering in Michael’s hands.

“Alright, you sick son of a bitch,” Michael said, his fingers which had been coated with Alex’s spit pressed hard into the glass. “Let’s see how to break you apart.”

Michael held his hand out for Mimi. He felt her fingers slip into his, though his eyes remained on Alex. “Okay, how do we do this?”

“The ship should act as a conductor between us and Alex.”

“Shouldn’t he be touching it then?” Kyle asked.

“His saliva on Michael’s fingers is enough,” Mimi said. “Now, Michael, if you please, hold up the ship piece – yes, like that. I’m going to need strength, so try to think of Alex and only Alex, and I’ll draw on that energy what I can.”

“Is this going to hurt Michael?” Kyle asked grimly.

Mimi clenched her jaw. “It’ll hurt them both. But without suffering, Alex can’t be saved.”

“It’ll be fine,” Michael said.

“And this is supposed to suck the alien thing right out of him?”

“It should,” Mimi said hopefully, then her expression dimmed. “If it doesn’t –”

“It will,” Michael said. “Alex wants that thing out more than we do. He’ll be fighting. I know he will.”

“Yeah, we’ll see, cowboy,” Alien Alex smirked, though Michael couldn’t miss the way his eye twitched.

_Come on, Alex_ , he thought, hoping that somehow the real Alex would hear him. _Come back to me._

Michael closed his eyes, and thought of Alex, his fingers gripping the glass so hard he thought it might shatter under his touch. He thought of his Alex; he thought of kissing him, of holding him, of watching him while he slept, and burying his face in the pillow after he was gone, wishing that he was still there in his arms.

Michael winced as a strong weight suddenly hit him, and settled in his muscles. He forced strength into his legs and kept himself standing. _Alex_ , he thought. Alex’s smile, Alex’s eyes, Alex’s voice, Alex’s brilliance. _Alex, Alex, Alex._

“AH!”

Michael gasped, shocked as Alex’s veins slowly stopped glowing all over his body, and seemed to be gathering to one place in his chest, over his heart. The ship piece glowed and rippled wildly, the symbols on it blaring, as if shouting with agony. Then the spaceship turned hot, and hotter, until it was scorching, and Michael let it drop.

“ _Ah_!” he hissed, and the piece burned into the wooden floor. “Alex –”

“Don’t,” Alex grit out, his eyes shut tight. When he opened them, they were still glowing, and he smiled maliciously. “Don’t come near me.”

Michael and Mimi yanked their hands away from one another as if they were violently pushed apart. Kyle caught Mimi while Michael fell to his knees, his wide and horrified eyes on Alex.

“No,” he whispered.

“Sorry, cowboy,” Alex grinned. “If you want to kill me now, you’ll have to stab my heart out. Can you do that?”

Michael’s fists clenched.

“Can you, _Guerin_?” Alex said in a serious tone as if mocking the real Alex.

“Guerin –” Kyle warned, but Michael wasn’t listening.

He lunged at Alex, and grabbed his collar, shaking him violently. “Let him go, LET HIM GO!”

Alex laughed. “ _No_.”

“Guerin, stop it!” Kyle pulled him back. “You’ll hurt Alex!”

“It’s not enough power,” Mimi panted, leaning against the wall, one hand on her chest. “That dark energy’s too strong.”

“It doesn’t matter!” Michael snapped, roughly pulling away from Kyle’s hold. “It doesn’t matter, because you’re not leaving until we find a way to get you out of Alex.”

“And if I escaped?”

“Didn’t you hear me the first time?” Michael gestured to the chains. “Those are covered in yellow pollen. Your powers won’t work.”

Alex grinned and leaned back. “You know, Guerin, there’s another reason I love Alex. He’s not just strong, he’s _resourceful_.”

“What’re you talking about?” Kyle’s eyes narrowed.

“What, you think this is the first time Alex has ever been chained?” Alien Alex said, and moved his wrists. To Michael’s shock, the chains rattled. Alex suddenly pulled his hands free, holding up a nail that would’ve been in the floorboards. “A word of caution; before you lock someone up, be sure they’re not military.”

And Alex suddenly pushed himself backwards hard enough that his chair shattered beneath him, and he stepped out of his chains completely, stretching his neck.

Michael held a hand up. All he had to do was shoot Alex back into a wall. It was a simple move, one Michael had done a hundred times without even trying, but now he hesitated.

“Aww,” Alex grinned, “you don’t want to hurt Alex, how sweet.”

“You bastard,” Kyle pulled something off his belt that Michael had never seen him use before; a gun. _He must’ve brought it just in case_ , Michael realized _._ He pointed it at Alex. “Take another step, and I shoot your arm off!”

Alex laughed, used the chains that had been wrapping his wrists to swipe at their feet, and sent them all toppling to the floor, hard. The next thing Michael knew, Alex was standing over him, Kyle’s gun in his hands.

“You know, I’m not a fan of this stuff,” Alex said, and pressed the gun against Michael’s forehead. “But I’ll make an exception, just this once.”

“Don’t do it, Alex!” Mimi urged. “Don’t let the darkness win!”

“Shh, now, Mimi,” Alex said. “Keep it down, please. I want to enjoy this.”

Michael considered using his powers, but the pollen from the chains had clung to his legs, and he found himself unable to even fling the gun from Alex’s hand.

His eyes fell shut, his jaw clenched. “I love you, Alex,” he whispered, and he expected to hear the click of the gun, feel an excruciating pain and then complete numbness… but he felt nothing.

He opened his eyes, and saw that Alex had his free hand holding his other one – _No_ , Michael realized. He was holding himself back.

“Guerin,” Kyle hit his shoulder, “his eyes!”

Michael looked and realized that while one of Alex’s eyes had stayed the abnormal color of the spaceship piece, his other had returned to its beautiful bright brown.

“ _Alex_ ,” Michael breathed.

“A-Alex,” Alien Alex grit out, “stop… fighting… me.”

But Alex wouldn’t respond. He and Michael caught each other’s eyes once, and Michael saw a tear fall out of Alex’s eye before he screamed, spun the tip of the gun right over his chest where the coloring had gathered and was forming a pulsing replica of his heart, and shot.

The last thing Michael remembered before everything turned to a blur wasn’t Mimi’s wailing or Kyle’s screaming – it was Alex’s body as it fell limp to the ground at his feet.

Michael felt like years had passed since he’d been sitting by Alex’s bedside, holding his hand, the monitor’s steady _beep beep beep_ going on behind him.

“His heart’s still beating,” Kyle tried to reassure him for what Michael was sure was the one-hundredth time.

“Then why isn’t he awake?”

“Guerin,” Kyle took the seat beside him. His eyes were on Alex, exhausted and miserable, and Michael suddenly felt bad. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Kyle out of his doctor’s robes, and now, after that short, but chaotic time with Alien Alex chained up to a chair, sitting in a hospital felt silent and frozen in comparison.

“He shot his own heart. He shouldn’t have survived.”

“You said he’d be fine,” Michael said. “You said the bullet had only hit the alien energy that had coagulated in his chest – _he should be fine_.”

“He should,” Kyle agreed, “but we’ve never dealt with anything like this before, and by all accounts, he _should_ have woken up. I don’t know what else to tell you.”

Michael’s eyes burned. “Can you just go? I want to talk to Alex.”

Kyle did not seem annoyed or upset or angry, only resigned as he nodded, and walked out.

Michael did nothing but stare at Alex for the first few minutes, then he moved his chair closer, and leaned in, his voice quiet. “Hey, Private.” Alex did not respond, his eyes did not flutter, and the machine did not beep wildly to indicate any change. Michael sniffed, raking his curls back. “Look… you told me your own scary story, now I want to tell you one of mine.

“Once upon a time, in a crappy town called Roswell, there lived a boy whose name was Nothing. Nothing hated his life, and hated his town, and hated the people that loved him. He hated being told he had a family, and hated it worse when people told him he was theirs.” Michael took a deep, shaky breath. “He hated it, Alex, because it meant he had something to lose, and Nothing would’ve been fine losing his truck, his home, even his favorite cowboy hat if it meant he got to keep y… keep _him_. His family.

“Legacies, eventually, came and took his family away. Nothing couldn’t breathe after that, the day his family disappeared. When his family came back for him, Nothing pushed them away, because losing them hurt so badly the first time, he was sure that losing them again would’ve killed him. Nothing grew up, alone and forgotten, watching his family grow and become happier without him. In the end, Nothing died alone, with no one at his side.”

Michael shrugged. “I don’t know how else to end that story, Alex. You’re better with words than I am. How do I end the story?”

Alex said nothing, and a tear fell down Michael’s cheek. He sniffled, wiping it away, and raised Alex’s hand to his lips, kissing his fingers. “Come on, Private, look at me. Tell me I’m an idiot, and there are better endings than that one. _Please_ , tell me you believe in a better ending for us.”

Still nothing. Michael ducked his head, exhaling deeply. He was just beginning to wonder whether he should send for some of his clothes, so that he never had to leave Alex’s side, when he felt Alex’s fingers move against his.

Michael stilled, holding his breath. “Alex?”

For a moment, there was nothing, then Michael’s heart soared as Alex’s dark brown eyes fluttered open, and fell on him.

**Author's Note:**

> [my tumblr](https://pastelwitchling.tumblr.com/)


End file.
